POOHPA

Jelly legs

2012-01-30T20:54:00.000-06:00

Well I have started working out.I am not Arnold,yet,but I am working at it.Forty minutes on the treadmill and I am shot to shit.The weight has started to come off slowly.I am hoping for 10 lbs. a month.
I have a bad case of jelly legs.I have been trying to make it at least three time a week. I also try to hit the weights,every couple of days.

If you work out,it is not wise to eat Mexican food first.I cleared the gym,when I used the squat machine.
Don't ask me how I know this.

Till next time--------------------Poohpa

Dam'n It!

2012-01-11T18:05:00.001-06:00

Still not losing any weight,Hell I even gained 3lbs.I am getting tired of this.
Shit!!I am going to join a fitness club tomorrow.I hate paying money to sweat(I am one cheap bastard as I have said many times).
I don't seem to eating that much,I quess I will starve myself to death.Maybe if I chew my lips off,it will keep me lean and mean.
Although I am still down over 50lbs,I want more.

I will take a minute to say Happy Birthday to my great looking wife.She turns 16(she has some of my grandkids believing this).People think I am the only one with a line of bull shit in this house.Bull shit.
( reverse the 6 and the1,and add 1.This her true age.You did not hear this from me!!)
Till next time ---Poohpa

Work

2012-01-07T12:29:00.000-06:00

Sunday I return to the meat cutting job.I can say I could get used to not working,but it does not pay well.
I wounder how my strength will hold up.I know the guys at work will help me if needed,but I like to do it myself.

Since my weight loss.I know the women will be a problem.This is a curse,as I have told you before.I just have to live with it.They cannot help themselves.

Still the same on the weight loss.I know when I start back to work it will start coming off again.

Till next time-------------Poohpa

New Year

2011-12-30T19:25:00.000-06:00

After surgery, the weight loss has been slower,only five pounds this week.
I have been on a semi-soft diet.I drink milk for breakfast and small meals for the rest.

My hope is that I lose 50 more by June.

I was supposed to be on a protein shake diet,but I can't stand to drink that crap anymore.

The way I am eating I don't see how I am over eating.

Maybe the New Year will bring more loss.Next week I go back cutting meat at the store.
Maybe working your kester off will help.

Keep me in mind for the New Year.

I hope yours is better than last and not as good as the next.

Till next time-Poohpa

New Week

2011-12-22T21:44:00.000-06:00

One week since surgery (gastric sleeve) and I have lost another 10 lbs.This is a total of 37 since I started on the liquid diet.
Tomorrow I go and get my staples removed.
I have started back on my protein shakes for the next two weeks.
I still have very little pain,more like a discomfort.I am not supposed to lift over 10lbs. But some times it just happens.
I have two more weeks left before I go back to work at the meat dept.
I hope the next week goes as well as the last.
My hunger is not there,so it is hard to remember I need a shake.I want to eat but not because of hunger,but maybe for the taste.

Thank for listening-----------------Poohpa

Update

2011-12-18T09:00:00.000-06:00

Well I am back from the hospital.The Dr. removed the side of my stomach,while he was in there,he fixed a hernia.
I was down 27 lbs.after 2 weeks on the diet.I am afraid to weigh, because I feel swollen.
I have six new scares on my tummy.(in later years I will tell my grand kids that I was in a knife fight)
This is the third day since the surgery.I am doing well.Little pain,more like a discomfort.

I have always been the biggest man in the crowd,maybe this will change.
One week on water,then two weeks of protein shakes,after that two weeks of soft foods.
This means no ham or turkey for me this year.I guess a few more years of living is worth it.

When on a liquid ;
Never pass a chance to go pee-
If get urge to poop don't wait-
And never ever trust a fart-
Don't ask me how I know this!

Till next time----------Poohpa

Second Week

2011-12-09T18:21:00.000-06:00

Next Thursday I will have my surgery done.Hopefully I will be home Friday afternoon.
I am weak from lack of food.I need something to chew.
I am tired of drinking my meals.
After the surgery,I will have three more weeks of the liquid diet.Then soft and liquefied food,for three weeks.
I am wasting away,18 lbs. down from last week.
I am so weak,my farts are dry and don't even make a sound.Luckilly they will still stop a clock.

Till next time---------------Poohpa
.

Forth Day

2011-12-04T20:55:00.000-06:00

Well I ain't dead yet!!!!
No fingers left and I am running out of farts.
Four day into the diet and I have only cheated 375 times, If you don't count the Boston cream pie that disappeared last night.
Ten pounds in four days,not bad.

Sondi has not choked me to death in my sleep.
The guys at work say I am not anymore bitchy had normal.The ass wipes talk behind my back and point fingers at me.(they do know I am very good with a knife and will use it.)

Till next time-----------------------Poohpa Help Me

Day One

2011-12-01T22:28:00.000-06:00

Shit---------------I want food.

It was not too bad.

Chewed two fingers off.

Drank four protein shakes and drank three bottles of water.

Farted and tried to bite my own fart.

Need food---send cookies fast.

Till next time -------------------Poohpa

New Start

2011-11-27T18:08:00.000-06:00

Dec 1st. I will start a new chapter.On the 1st I am starting a liquid diet.
This is in prep of the gastric sleeve,I will have on Dec.15.
I have been working on this since May,taking classes and seminars.

The good part of this, I hope to lose 8o or 9o lbs by Thanksgiving next year.

The bad part is that I will not get to eat for 8 to 10 weeks.The first two will be a cake walk.
After the surgery,that will be something different all together.
Mostly no food for the first week.Protein shakes for the next two.Blended for the next two.The soft foods for will come next.
This could be a hard time for me (and my wife).
This will be made easier by bitch'n alot to all of you.

Till Next time----------------------Poohpa

ThanksGiving

2011-11-21T20:43:00.000-06:00

Nannie
Thanksgiving makes me think of my MIL.We lost her a few years ago,but she is with us during the season.
She had a tradition of having the grand kids over to help make dressing for the turkey.(In Texas we eat dressing not stuffing).My oldest son took over this job before she left us.This last week, my kids got together,and make the dressing for Thanksgiving and Christmas.We tried to get my grand kids to help,but most were playing to hard to be bothered .
This time of year always make all of us think even more of her.
She was born in 19 something,As Josephine Gotcher in Farmsville Tx.
Married James McClary.
Then Paul Skidmore.
But she was known as Nannie,by anyone ,who was anyone.
We had some people who came to her funeral that did not know her name was Jo.
She was sweet.
She was stern.
She loved her grandkids more than life it's self,and would protect them to the end.
She was what the word family means! Look it up.
She loved the holidays.She decorated for weeks.She wrapped for weeks.She cooked for just as long.
I miss her.
Till next time--------------------Poohpa
P.S. I will not be way for so long.Starting on Dec.1,I will start a new chapter in my life and let you all help me through it.

I am still here

2011-10-27T06:57:00.000-05:00

Have had alot going on lately.
I have been thinking about how we have so much,now compared to when we were young.

Kids do not understand that cokes (sodas) were a treat not a staple.You can drink water.

Two or three kids to a room will not kill or warp your life.

Outside was to play in,not to look at.

The summer of '63 was a bad time in my life.
That year we were so poor,we had no money to spend on Halloween costumes.
Mom just gave me a potato."Put this in your pocket and go as a dictator".

Till next time--Poohpa

Pig Fish

2011-09-21T20:57:00.000-05:00

My city,North Richland Hills Tx., has a city wide plan to beautify any thing they can.The put art work on lots of things.Their are plenty junction boxes( phone and electric). Any of these on major streets have been decorated.Some are the high school mascots.This is way cool.
The one near my house is a pig fish.Know I do not know what the f--- a pig fish is,but I cannot get this image out of my mind.
The thing is way cool and weird at the same time.If I get a change I will post a pic of it.
It haunts me ,maybe I am becoming a pig fish .I just don't know.

Heip me.Poohpa or pig fish.Poohpa or pig fish.
A change maybe coming.
Pig Fish out. I meant --Till next time--------------Poohpa

Sad Day

2011-09-11T20:17:00.000-05:00

Friday,on my part time job,I was sent to the town of Grandbury Tx.We had to deliver 5 cars to a Chevy dealer.It is about 60 miles from DFW airport from which we left from..3o miles to the other side of Fort Worth and then 30 miles south.
As I got near the town of Cresson,I noticed the people lining the side of the road.When I crossed into Hunt County,there were 2 sheriff cars on the side of the road,A mile further,2 more.As I got near Grandbury,the more cars,motorcycles,fire trucks,and even the dog catcher,were stopped and waiting.Flags and signs every where.
They were bringing a Fallen Soldier home to rest.The town turned out to pay respect for their own.
Very humbling.
As I pulled into the dealership,they were all at the street and waiting.This is a time for deep respect.
Three of the five drivers,got out of their cars with a big smile and asked what the parade was for,after all Labor Day was last week.
I was soooo embarrassed,I almost died.
How can people go through life with their heads up their ass? How can you not see what is happening?
As we left,the procession came through.Police,sheriff,and Patriot Guards,in the lead.Family cars and friends for about a mile.
Very humbling.

This old man cried.

Then today,he did once more.

Tee

Cool

2011-09-06T22:49:00.000-05:00

Here I sit and it is 70f outside, at 10:00 at night.Last week it was 102f at this time.The heat has finally broke.We are able to get outside again. We had over 60 day over 100f this year. We have 5 to 10 most years.
West of here we have major fires.
Near Austin we have fires.
Near Houston we have fires.
In east Texas we have fires.
I am just happy I did not start a major fire with my farts.

Till next time---------------Poohpa

May all your hugs be warm.
May all your farts be dry.

Work

2011-08-22T21:38:00.000-05:00

As you all know,I work a part time job.
Note to self--never share one of your signature,burnt peanut butter farts,when you are not driving the van.
Mike,the lead driver,all most passed out.We had to give him oxygen.He swears his nose hairs are gone.
Till next time-------------Poohpa

Galveston Tx

2011-08-19T19:22:00.000-05:00

Tuesday I went to Galveston---------
This is something I have wanted and also feared.
Most go to play on the beach and fish,I went to the Shriner's Hospital.----This is one of our burns units,I think you understand why I feared this.

I am not ashamed to say"I am a wuss when it comes to hurt kids." I slept very little the night before.
I got a call a week before from my new BFF -Bill.
Bill is the lead driver on this trip,me,the co-pilot.
We left the Shrine center at 5:15 and was on the road.Half way there,we stopped in Fairfield Tx. and ate breakfast at Sam's.In Galveston by 11:oo.
The hospital is at the end of the island.We stopped in the front and unloaded our passenger.
Went to the 7th floor to the cafeteria.While there,one of the Divan from Ft Worth came by and greeted us.( The Divan is what Shriner's call their leaders).
Later, as we waited in the lobby,I watched the kids play.I saw kids with no ears,no arms,and no noses.Some came by and waved or spoke.At a young age these kids know that the men in the Fez are the ones that help.As I sat there a young girl smiled and spoke.As she spoke I noticed her arms were hanging straight down.Her Mom sewed fake hands to her sleeves,this to make her feel better.
The kid we took back was burned all over.Face ,hands,and arms.This is what I dreamed about for two days.He had no nose.No hands.

I call them kids, but they are all Men and Women.Anyone that have gone through this much are grown ups in my opinion.

The Shriner's live and die for the kids.This is what I do and what I live for.

If you can,always give to the Shrine. Poohpa

P.S. Today is my son's birthday.Maybe this is why it bothered me so much.We are all blessed by God and we are all so lucky.

Still Hot

2011-08-08T21:57:00.000-05:00

I am still afraid it's never gone to end.39 days straight of 100 plus temps.
Made it through jury duty.
The steering wheel on the car burns your hands.When you get in,it must be 120 or more.
Even the grasshoppers are hunting shade.We are watering 4 days a week and the yard is just barely holding on.
This maybe a good thing.I only have one more bush left. I am on my last pair of cargo shorts left.The rest have burn holes in the butt.When your farts light,it hurts like hell,it is also hurts like hell.At least they don't
stink like sh----.
Till next time---------Poohpa

Jury Duty

2011-07-29T17:57:00.000-05:00

I spent my time as a jury panel member.
The did not pick me.I gadly serve when needed.This was an open and shut case.The young man pled quilty and the jury was asked to judge the punishment.

Just like Perry Mason.

Shit it was hot--downtown--104f---seemed like I was next door to Hell.

I think most people are born good,but sometimes they walk through random pockets of dumb ass.This must last for a lfe time.

Till next time------Poohpa

Heat

2011-07-20T17:48:00.001-05:00

Shit it is hot outside! 102f in the shade today and it has been warmer earlier in the week. 105f on my patio in the shade.
Next week I have jury duty--shit it's hot.
I don't mind jury duty.It is all of our duty to serve.In 1980 I served on a jury for 3 weeks.Shit it was the hottest summer in history.Untill this year.I just hope I will not have to serve that long.
It is so hot outside,that when I was doing yard work,I farted.It caught on fire and almost burned a tree down.(Quess I will not bend over after eating tacos,while outside).I am OK ,just a burned butt and a ruined pair of cargo shorts.

Did I say--Shit it is hot?

Till next time------Poohpa

Antz

2011-07-15T19:04:00.000-05:00

We had visitors from out of state this last weekend.
My sister Becki from Utah and her boy friend Riki---the spaceman.
Her daughter from Vegas and her family.
We did have a good time and also got togather with 40 of our long lost Aunts,Uncles,and cousins.These from my Mom's (we lost her in 1980) side of the family.We had a great dinner at El Chico's mexican resterant.They fixed a nice fajita bar,plenty to eat for everyone.A good time for all.It has benn atlest 20 yrs since we have seen most of them.
On Sunday we had a cook out at my house.Burgers ,dogs,and grill boneless pork chops.My neice spent 2hrs.making brownies from scratch.They were very good even if my son ,Keith had a problem getting them out of the oven.

As for the ants,they were there to greet Riki (this is a spaceman thing I quess).All I know is when he got to the house ,they all parted and you could her them chant--Riki-Riki.
When he left so did the ants---must be a space thing.

Till next time -------Poohpa

Help Me

2011-07-10T14:56:00.000-05:00

We have been invated by ants and Realiens.
Visitors are here from Utah and Navada.I do not know if they brought the ants,but I did see the movie "Them", when was a kid.I do believe that this is all connected.
I will repoert back later if they do not suck our brains out while we sleep.

Till next time-----------Poohpa

Blank

2011-06-24T18:43:00.000-05:00

I got nothing!!!!
My mind has gone to shit---no brains left.
Not like I have alshimers { I can't spell either} or anything.Damn spell check does not always help.
Gone to shit-----
I am having a hard time try'n to find anything to write about.
All my fart stories are gone.
My family will not talk to me for fear I will rat them out on the blog.
The guys at work run from me.
I have run out of lies.
I have not got anything to talk bad about my friends.
Nothing to rant about at work,even with the holidays coming soon.Even nothing to tell about Jack Ass,the customer from hell.
I don't even have anything to tell about me.
What the hell is going on? Shit for brains,that what.
Till next time -----------Poohpa ( I hope)

Why Come?

2011-06-17T17:58:00.000-05:00

I have been lazy about blogging--Why ,I been lazy!

A few things I wounder about.

How does a thermal bottle know when to keep it hot or cold?

If the great horned toad is so great and so horny---Why are they almost extinct ?

When did the emergency brake on a car, become a parking brake?

Why when you gotta go pee--is there always someone in the rest room?

Why do I think of all this useless bullshit? My brain is full of it and it keeps leaking out.

Till next time-----Poohpa

Things that make me happy

2011-06-06T18:17:00.000-05:00

A few things that make me happy.

Grand kids.
My wife.
My kids.
When children giggle instead of crying.
Good food.
Good food with good friends
A good joke ( clean or dirty).
Telling a good lie when your friends believe the bull shit.
Being right---this don't happen often.
Listening to a good book on CD while driving to work.
The guys I work with,both jobs.
All my women in my life.---This is a curse,I can't help it.
A job well done.
A good fart.

Till next time-------------Poohpa

Pills

2011-06-01T22:25:00.001-05:00

You all know I work in a meat market.
I see stuff that most people do not want to see.
Nothing real gross,we do not kill and gut,we just cut the meat.This not as dirty as it used to be.
Sanitation laws are alot tougher than they were years ago.

I have become immune to alot.After 42 yrs I can eat beside damn near anything.I can eat a ham sandwich while sitting right beside the meat block.

I also believe that we have gone over board with this sanitation thing.Dirty is dirty,but you can over do anything.Our bodies need a little bacteria to work right.

I believe in the 30 sec rule ( this was a 5 second rule when I was 20.The older I get the longer the time frame.)

This morning I was doing my stuff before work. Hair -teeth-pills.
When started my meds I dropped one, no big deal.This does happen.This morning I could not find it.I looked for about 5 minutes,thin a found it.It was in the holder for the toliet bowl brush.

Now I am cheap and tuff, But I aint stupid! I am just on pill short for the month.

Till next time -----------------Poohpa

Cruise 2011

2011-05-23T17:12:00.000-05:00

Grandson Kasey when he found out he could get ice cream all day and night long.

Me and Me Winch

Our cuise ship.

Sea Turtle Farm.

Beach pad.
Just a few pics for our vacation.
Till next time----------------------------------------Poohpa

Cruise

2011-05-15T23:17:00.000-05:00

A few things I tried to find out while on the cruise---
I want to see if you sit on the toilet and flushed---would it suck your guts out through your butt.I tried to get my 5yr old grandson to try it for a buck,but he ran and cried the first time he heard the turbo flush.He did not sit on the pot while at sea.He got real pissy before we got to the first port.
Elvis was not working the buffet line.
Could anyone in the Karaoke bar sing-------------Hell no.
Why were only Indonesians working house keeping and the food lines-Italians were the ships sailors-and the Americans were the Cruise directors and entrainment staff.
WHY in Gods name with a ship full of Texans were there no biscuits and gravy? There was Damn sure always tacos.
Where the drunks funny---Hell yes.
Could you really eat for 24 hrs. with out stopping-------Yes.--Pizza and ice cream 24 hrs a day.Life is good.
I always wanted to piss off the fantail...Warning if you do use a mask and snorkle.Don't ask how I know this. Until next time------------------------------Poohpa

Vacation

2011-05-15T19:37:00.000-05:00

OK , we are back for our cruise.We had a great time.
Lot's of pics and bullshit to tell you about,but it will be later.The ship was late getting in.

Till next time----------------Poohpa

Meat Case

2011-05-04T22:35:00.000-05:00

Today I farted so bad,behind the meat case, two people passed out.I blamed on bad chicken in the case.

State Law says never take the credit--always pass it on.

Till next time-------------------Poohpa

Mothers Day

2011-04-30T20:54:00.000-05:00

This Mothers Day I will get Sondi the same thing as last year -- not a damn thing.Just like last year!!

Not really---we are going to Galveston for a seven day cruise.

I have been thinking alot about Fathers Day.

The rage is an E reader--the Kindle or Barns and Nobel now carry their version the Nook.

I understand that Half Priced Books now carry their version of the Nook.They call it the Nookie.

Ladies I know all your husbands would love a little Nookie for Fathers Day.

I will be waiting for mine.

Till next time-----Poohpa

Life Lesson

2011-04-16T09:04:00.000-05:00

Never wash your custom embroidered Shriner shirt( the one that is pure white with 2000 points of embroidery on the back alone),with your new black pants. I now have a gray one.Soon to order a new one. Shit!!!!!! Till next time -Poohpa

Shriner Joke

2011-04-14T21:53:00.000-05:00

A man went to the Dentist.After the exam,the Dentist says" You need three root canals," He says"I can't have a root canal,it will hurt to much.I can,t handle the pain." The Dentist says" We can use Novocaine," He says" It makes me sick,I think I am allergic to it." "We can use gas" He says. " No-no I am to scared I will just die".The man said. The Dentist left and returned with two blue pills and a glass of water."Take this" he said. "What are the pills for?" "Viagra".The Dentist said. "What the hell is that for?" The Dentist says"When I start drilling,with all that pain,Your going to need something to hold on to." Till next time------Poohpa

Twin Brother

2011-04-11T20:02:00.000-05:00

Here I am in all my glory.

For years I have told all may friends that I have a twin.His name is Russ.

People are amazed that we do not look alike.I am the better looking one,in the top pic.

We have different mothers and he is 5yrs older. But to me,we are twins at heart.

I am till better looking!

Till next time-----------Poohpa

Summer Time

2011-04-11T19:32:00.000-05:00

As you know--I am a meat cutter-not a butcher.A butcher has no finesse when it comes to craftsmanship.Most people think all you do is slice and dice.There is an art to this and it is a dying craft.Anyone can butcher a cut of meat,but not everyone can do it right.If done ,wrong it is tuff and chewy. This time of year ,we remerchandise our counter.More cook out items ( middle meats--t-bone-ribeye-strips) and less roast and stew meats. Me being as bitchy as I am,some things just aren't right. No real man will eat a kabob or satays.This is women food.( sorry ladies).No real man will eat or even buy a stuffed mushroom. Kabobs are not hard to make but they take alot of time,for the little money in return. Beef and chicken satay are just lean strips of meat woven on to a skewer. I think satay is French for pain in the ass. Steaks and pork chops are real man food. GRRRRRRRRRRRRR . Till next time----------------Poohpa

Doctors

2011-04-06T22:17:00.000-05:00

I hate going to see the sonabitches.

There are lots of things I hate about them.

They do not listen to what you say--only what they want to hear.

They charge to much for what little service you actually get.It makes since to me that if you charge $50 for the insurance company,you should charge me the same if I pay cash.

How come when I return a call, to them, you can never talk to a real person?

Sick snotty little bastards in the same waiting room as people that just hurt.

Cold fingers.

The sound of KY jelly---splaaaat and then the slap of a rubber glove.

Guys--When you bend over does he have one or two hands on your back?

When you get double scoped--Does he use one or two hoses.Hopfully if he uses one,maybe he cleans it off first.

Why does he never send flowers?

Have you ever had a nurse or Doctor say thank you when you leave?

Mom and Dad

2011-03-27T20:43:00.000-06:00

Mom and Dad loved each other,but they drove each other crazy.The more they were together,the more they grew to hate each other. They divorced and then they were happy.Each remarried and were happy for many years after. My Mom lived next door to my sister,in Utah.Later when my Dad visited my sister, he became friends with her and Jim. My Mom and Jim would even go out with Dad and Dean. Years before they divorced,Dad lost his job with Armour Packing.He tried to find a job for months. Dad had tried to get on with the US Border Patrol.He took all his test and passed with flying colors.He never heard from them again.Years later my Mom asked him if he remembered the job with the Border Patrol.Years later she told him that he had gotten a job and was to report to Laredo Tx., on the Texas-Mexico border.Mom told him she tore the papers up and never told him. You never know how life could be, if things were different. If things were different I may have had a daughter named Juanitia. Till next time-------------------Poohpa

Gas X

2011-03-17T17:13:00.000-06:00

Men being men,we talk about sports,sex,women,politics,and farts.
It is a state law that men will brag and lie about their fats.Decompress,poots,toots and butt perfume.
Me personally,I have been able to fart in colors and I have my own signature fragrance.I just call it Burnt Peanut Butter.
Years ago we were in the meat market talking about farts.I told the guys about the time I was in the shower and farted.It blew the door open and sprung the hinge.Almost choked to death before I could get out.
About this time the meat wrapper came in.
She told about the time her husband,Grover, came home drunk.He fell into bed and passed out.
Now they had a dog,one of those yappin little bastards that shake all the time-like he has an ice cube up his butt.Now this little bastard would sleep between Grovers legs.Grover farted, the dog came running out,yappin , and crying.Stopped on Grovers chest and puked his guts up.

I have never made a dog thow up.I could only be so proud.
Till next time--------------Poohpa

Me women

2011-03-09T21:45:00.000-06:00

It is a curse,I cannot help it! It just happens,not my fault.
Women just find me irresistible.
Maybe it is the hair.Maybe my great looks.Or it maybe the animal magnetism.
This a curse I have had all my life.
Where ever I go sexy women are all over me.
I went to a tailgate party for the Super Bowl volunteers.
As per normal,these Cowboy Cheerleaders wanted to go home with me.But being a married man I had to break their hearts and tell them I was a one woman man.
They cried,but knew I was right.I let them down easy.All was well with the world.
I live in my own world,in my own mind.I love my world even if it is make believe.
Till next time--------------Poohpa

Old Joke

2011-03-07T17:20:00.000-06:00

A man walks into a cafe and orders a cup of coffee.
He sits there drinking the coffee and after a while calls the waitress over to his table.
He says "This coffee taste like mud!"
She says "It was ground this morning"

Old joke for an old man.
Lord I have a million of them.

Till next time-------Poohpa

Revenge ( may need to read my last posy first)

2011-02-26T19:28:00.000-06:00

The bastards-
Don
Eddie
Kenny-pygmy bastard ring leader and cake maker.
I have to admit a water balloon taped down and iced like a cake is pretty ingenious.
I had to do something to each one on their birthdays.

The first was Don.
On his day we showed up with some of the band kids.They loved to deface private property.
Before I could get out of my car,the band kids were hard at work.You could hear the toilet paper hitting the ground.--thump-thump-thump.It sounded like mortars hitting the ground.They very large oak trees and they were covered top to bottom.Pay backs are sweet.

The second was Eddie.
His was a little different.After Don he thought he was going to get the same thing.Wrong!
I took the spinal cords from pork loins.This things are very nasty.Like super snot.I put these under his door handles,steering wheel,and wiper blades.It took him days to get it off.

Then there was Kenny-pygmy bastard ring leader.
He went out of town on his birthday and put his pickup in the garage so I could not get to it.Wrong.His daughter,Niki,pulled it out for me.I filled the back with 300 lbs of cow crap.Yep 300lbs of stinking cow shit.I also put little cocktail umbrellas in the crap.Little signs that said"this dungs for you".
He was not a happy pygmy.Life is good.

Till next time-----Poohpa

Birthday Past

2011-02-25T19:19:00.000-06:00

I said earlier that I had just turned 60.(Damn that's old)

I was thinking about birthdays past.

Toys long gone,old friends not seen for years.

The most memorable is when I turned 40.Good friends and good times are hard to forget.

We were involved with our kids high school .I was on the band booster board.

The group of people we met were very much fun to be with,they had my type of humor

(rude and crude).We got together every week to eat.

The morning of my birthday I got ready to go to work.Went to get my coffee and looked out the kitchen window.Now--if I am late to work it doesn't just bother me,but if some other than me does--well let's just say it makes me pissy.
I looked out the kitchen window and what do I see?
My car filled with balloons and shrink wrapped with miles of film.Windows painted with rude comments.Not only that,but my trees filled with toilet paper hanging like snakes from the top of them.I had been teeped by my buds.Bastards-sonsabitches-ass wipes.(that was the nice things I said).
The first thing I did was call them all.5:30 am is the perfect time for threatening phone calls.
I will get them back.
It took 45 min. to clean my car up so I can go to work.Then when I get to work(mad as hell) they had gone to my store and posted signs in the back room and ladies room.
Later that night,we went to Kenny's house to meet to go out for dinner.Kenny says "We have a birthday cake for you to cut before we go eat".
The cake was a water balloon iced with chocolate frosting.Have you ever been pissed on by a cake?
Bastards, and people wonder why I hate people.
Till next time------ Poohpa
Next time---the pay back

Getting Old

2011-02-16T17:05:00.000-06:00

Today I just got old.
Today is my birthday.
40 wasn't bad.
50 was OK.
60 almost sucks.
Can't see.
Can't pee.
Can't bend.
Can't mend as well as I used to.

I cannot bitch--I have lived a good life.I never got rich, but have had a good life.You do not need to have a lot of money to be rich in love and life.
It is a blessing that a lot of people never had.

41 years with my wife.
3 kids.
8 grand kids.
Life is good!!!!!!!!!!!!

Till next time--------------Poohpa

Mistake

2011-02-11T07:19:00.000-06:00

The two next post are reversed please read the second one first.

Fred

2011-02-11T07:03:00.001-06:00

Christmas,Fred was still with me.Sondi ask me to get a box out of the closet so she would wrap a shirt for her Mom.
So Fred and I got up and went to the closet to get a box off of the top shelf.Fred was bitch'n but I went anyway.
As I was going through the stash of boxes,a patty box fell.( I talked about the patty box in an earlier post.They were small and folded flat.)
As it fell, in slow motion,I saw it slowly spin and rotate as it came down.It looked like sword in an old ninja movie.
It met Fred at about 40 miles per hour.When it hit I almost passed out.Nearly pissed.And cussed all at the same time.
Fred was not happy, neither was I .
I still hurt every time I think of it.

Till next time-----Poohpa

I will not say that again

2011-02-11T06:29:00.001-06:00

The passport issue has been resolved!

When we were at the Post Office applying for our passports I thought of an old story that happened to me years ago----

One day at work, Bud, tells me he had a flat tire on the way home and had to change it on the side of the road.

So I says--

I never have had a flat on the road.I have gotten up but had one in the drive way.

You know,the next morning bap-bap-bap---flat tire.

The next week my MIL came down with a fever blister on her top lip.

So I says---

You know I have never had a fever blister before.

The next morning--a big ole blister.This was not your run of the mill blister.The bastard took on a life of it's own.It would talk to complete strangers--look at me--look at me.It weighed so much I bent over to tie my shoe and almost fell over.I called it Fred.

About a week later ,Bud, says when he was a kid he broke his arm playing football.

I did not say a damn word.---Poohpa

Weather

2011-02-01T10:04:00.000-06:00

I know my friend up north will laugh about us down south,but we don't have the equipment to handle this.Yesterday 60f today 19f with ice and snow.This normal for this time of year in Ft.Worth Tx.--the Stock Show is here.If we ever have bad weather it is always during the Stock Show.Not to mention we have the Super Bowl in town in in 6 days.This is a true state law.
Till next time---------------Poohpa

She ain't easy.

2011-01-31T22:10:00.000-06:00

My woman is just not easy.Nothing ,no way ,no how.
When you are 3ft 2in,ain't nothing fits.( she is just a hair taller than that).Pants to long .Shirt sleeves that are always to long.
Did you ever try and find a pair of size 5 shoe or boots?
Did you ever try and find a size 5 ring?
Why does she always bend over to tie her shoe or pick something when she is walking down a hallway with people behind her?
Why does she always have to go back to the house to get a pillow or to get the camera?
Why is it her phone is always dead or at the house?
Why can she remember crap I did 20yrs ago when I don't know what she is talking about?

This all leading back to the reason I am take my life in my own hands for posting this.
Remember my post about Austin?How we had to have her name changed on her birth certificate.Remember I talked about the $5 an hour millonaire?All we had to do was have a misspelled first name corrected.We got the new one today .Her name was corrected from Sandra to Sandra.
That's right, they changed it to the same dam'n name. Sondi is still Sandra.This after a trip to Austin so we would get it right.

Sondi is still Sandra and she still ain'easy.
Lord knows I love her.

Till next time------Poohpa

Super Bowl Experience

2011-01-27T22:10:00.000-06:00

Hell!!! Here I am in all of my glory.Ready to tell everyone where to go and what to do.I worked my first volunteer shift at the Experience for the Super Bowl.Lots of fun for kids of all ages.I worked the Pass,Punt, and Kick booth.
This is a display of all of the past Super Bowl rings.They were well guarded.
This is a picture of the sign over my event.I have four more nights to work,pray I keep my wits and don't kick some kids butt for being a little turd(just kidding they were all nice)
Till next time----------------Poohpa

Austin

2011-01-22T21:51:00.000-06:00

This maybe a long post,so please let me explain.
My wife's name is Sondra,not Sandra.Most of her life people have called her Sandra at lest once.
We have planned to take a cruise this spring.There fore we have to get passports.The main thing you need is a birth certificate.I went to get them from the court house.Mine was right,hers was wrong.You guessed it,Sandra was on hers.Back in 1492 when she was born,Sondra was not a common name.I know that who ever transcribed the record thought it was wrong and changed the spelling to Sandra.That ass wipe as caused me a lot of grief.
After a lot of calls to Austin,we decided to travel to Austin to take care of the problem.If we sent it by mail it could take up to 3 months to get it back.If we went to Austin we could have it back in 2 weeks.Then we would apply for her passport.This may take up to 2 months to get back.
To fix it we had to send to Nevada so her brother could sign and notarise a statement to that effect.This done,we flew to Austin to take care of business.
When we get there some $5 an hour millionaire tells us we need more proof.It just so happens I also took our marriage certificate.We just met another ass wipe.
Sondi pops out the ole stinkeye.I know what is going to happen.A few miss spoken words can cause a lot of headache.I was able to defuse the situation and every thing was taken care of.
Sandra is now Sondra for good.
When down in Austin we looked for a donut shop.For an hour,we hunted.We found everything but donuts.That's another thing wrong with this hippie loving ,long haired,bunch of ass wipe liberals.They must hate donut lovers.That's unamerican, if you ask me.

Till next time----------Poohpa

Carl

2011-01-16T16:35:00.000-06:00

Carl is my new cars salesman.Last week I bought my sweet heart a new Sorento.The car is very nice and looks good.Carl was very nice and very good as a car salesman.
The only problem is that his name is not Carl,but Dale is his real name.
I do not remember names very well.I see and talk to hundreds of people a day.I try and make them all think I know who they are are.Many people know me by name at the store,but I know very few of them by their names.The art of true bullshit fits me well.
Carl made a joke out of his new name.I don't think he cares as long as I bought a car.He even introduced himself to Sondi as Carl then as Dale.One cool dude,just what it takes to make a sale.
Til Next time--------------Poohpa and Carl

Stink

2011-01-09T22:33:00.000-06:00

I noticed one day I was stinking.Not just your regular smell.This was some major stink.Not just a small smell,it smelled like a dead cat.
Working in the meat dept.I have run across some bad smells(nothing is as bad as a bad chicken).
This made me think maybe dogs and cats were following me.
Was I having a bad chili reaction--no.
Did I have a bad case of swap ass--no.
Had I stepped in dog shit--no.
After showering twice a day---
It was the damn soap.A reaction to Irish Spring.
After a shower with this crap,within an hour I smelled like a dead fish dipped in cat crap.I later found out that my brother has the same problem with Irish Spring.
I have now a large supply of Dial.Old soap for a old man.
Now smelling good again.
Till next time---------------Poohpa

The New Year

2010-12-31T12:37:00.000-06:00

The New Year is upon us.
Everyone makes their resolutions.
Here are a few of mine.
1.Even though I do look great for a big man,I will loose at least 10 lbs.
2.I will not talk about other people ( right).
3.I will not stare at women's butts.
4.I will be a better person.
5.I will not trip little kids or blind people.
6.I will blog more and do a better job.
7.I will wash my change my oil more often.
8.I will not fart and blame it on others.
9.I will not tell tall stories to my grand kids.
10.I will exercise more.
11. I hope to lower my blood pressure more.
12.I will not laugh so hard I pee my pants.
13.I will not flip off tailgaters.(right)
14.I will still talk bad about dumb ass drivers.
Till next time---------------Poohpa

All is good

2010-12-27T18:25:00.000-06:00

The New Year is upon us.
Christmas has passed.
We had a great time here at the Lowe house.
My grand kids were in rare form.No blood loss,but a few bumps and bruises. This is normal with six of the eight grand kids here.They ate and they played hard.Plenty of ham and turkey for all.
Santa was good to all.Bb guns and nerf guns were the hit of the day.
We got clothes and computers oh my.My favorite was a gift from Mookie.A writing pen that looks like a finger.When you pull it----farts.
I love this .I now know my deed is done.I have taught them low class redneck humor.
I think I am going to cry.I am so happy!
Till next time--------------Poohpa

Reason for the season

2010-12-20T19:55:00.000-06:00

We all enjoy Christmas,this goes without saying.It can be a stressful time of year.In my type of work( meat dept.)it can be a very hard and lots of work too.Most of the time my customers are very nice.The others I just look the other way.
We all love the food.We all over eat.I do it daily.We are lucky to be in a country that we can celebrate anytime or any where we want.Without fear of retaliation by some one different from us.
Some and I hope all are lucky enough to give and receive gifts from our loved ones.
One of the best parts is being with our families.As you know this one my favorites.Kids and grand kids kick butt.
One thing that is easy to forget is why we celebrate.Our Lord and his Son.I don't want to preach.
His Birth-
His Life--
His Death for us--
That's what it is all about!
Till next time-------------Poohpa

Christmas Past

2010-12-15T21:09:00.000-06:00

We are getting close to Christmas and I have not talked to you lately.I have been very busy at work-with the doctors--with the rehab--but also shopping for my baby.
I remember a few things from Christmas past.
The time my oldest son was a baby.he was so sick we almost put him in the hospital.At my Dads house on Christmas Eve,all he did was lay on Dad and eat potato chips.Dad talked about that till the day he pasted.
Last year little Kasey got a new plastic rifle that made shooting noises.For hours he carried that thing around and must have shot in 500 times the first hour.
The year my wife found cameras very cheap for my 10 little nieces and nephews.Their Moms bitched for years about the cost to them for development.Aunt Sondi always buys the best stuff for the kids.
The year that I drew my sisters name for a gift.The only thing I could think of was to make her something.When I brought out the deacons bench I made Vickie started crying.Hell thought she was pissed and apologised, then I got the best hug ever.
The Christmas lights of Christmas past--the bastards never work right.
The work and love my mil,Nannie,put into the Christmas dinner-( two types of corn-two kinds of mac& cheese-dressing with and without onions-olives and sweet pickles-and Dema's fruit salad).
Trying to get the kids up early so we could beat Nannie and Papa.This way we had time to our self with the kids.
My kids telling me to go back to bed,that it was 4:30,not 7:00.( Can you tell I love Christmas morning?).
The year my grandmother,Mell,accepted my invitation to celebrate with us.I had only asked for 35yrs.Later on that next year she passed away.She gave me one of the best presents ever,just by being there.
My fil,Papa, would claim some one stole his bread and have the kids get him another.Every year some one's bread gets stolen.
How every year my mil and my wife would make us save tags and bows.
One year I got hamburger patty boxes from work(we were throwing away about 200),it became a tradition to get a present in a patty box.Today there are only about 5 left,we wore out the rest.
Every year we hope we don't have black bottom bread.
The year my soon to be ex daughter-in-law,gave Sondi a platter she had made with all the grand kids names and hand prints.Instant tears for Sondi and Amy.
Best of all, just having our kids and their families with us!
I know this a long post, but we have many memories.
Till next time-----------------Poohpa
Merry Christmas to you and yours!

New Mouse

2010-12-06T20:23:00.001-06:00

The other day my mouse broke.I tried to use the pad on my laptop.But I could not handle the stress.Two fingers to control.It did not work with just one finger.I cannot do it.It must be a commie plot or something.I must be a finger retard.
To make it worse I went to Staples to buy a new one( because they were on sale for 9.99)and the only one left was pink.
Now I am not homophobic or nothing but a pink one!
Damn it I can handle it.Also I am a cheap bastard.The cheap bastard part won out.

Yesterday I spent the afternoon training for the NFL Experience.This is part of the Super Bowl activities.I will not be able to afford the game so this is the next best thing.Maybe I will be in charge of the nipple check for the cheerleaders.
I will work five 4 hr shifts.I will hope for cheerleader duty.

Till next time---Poohpa

Knee Rehab

2010-12-02T21:05:00.000-06:00

In 2006, I had a knee replacement.It went very well,I had very little pain after the surgery.Over the years my knee has gotten stiff.When I realised that I could not ride an exercise bike any more .After talking to my Dr I started a new round of rehab.
After 2 sessions,I found out a little 4ft9in woman could push my foot up to my ass.
I have muscled legs and have never been able to pull my legs up to my butt.If I se a runner do this it makes me sick.
I fear a cry or a fart will come out when the ladies are working on me.Either on will be embarrassing.Hopefully the fart will be dry and the cry be soft.
I have 2 treatments a week till the end of the year.
Till next time------------Poohpa

Me Chair

2010-11-28T22:10:00.000-06:00

As one of my last post says I need my chair.Man needs a good place to park his big ass.Your chair is one of the few places a man can go, that is his own.If another violates this it ,is an affront to his manhood.To me this is as bad as messing with his food or his woman.
Archie Bunker, my hero,said his chair was sacred.If you sit another mans chair you mess the bumps his butt has made.

If you are invited to sit this OK.
Grandkids maybe OK.
A good looking woman is OK.
Any other should stay out.
The only man that can sit in my chair and I don't make get up is my son in law.This is the only man I know that works more hours than I do.He need the rest and sleeps there very well.

When some uninvited turd gets my chair I have to sit in a kitchen chair.

Man cannot sit on the sofa because women like to put pillows there.They just get in the way of a real man.Any man that likes a pillow filled sofa is probably a Nancy boy.This another state law.
Till next time--------------Poohpa

Warning

2010-11-25T02:02:00.000-06:00

When I die I have been thinking about cremation.This is something I have thought long and hard about.

But after weeks of hard though I have changed my mind.
This because Sondi would mix my ashes with the cat litter.

Till next time------------Poohpa

Giving Thanks

2010-11-25T01:13:00.000-06:00

Everyone has alot to give thanks for.
Even if we don't know what we have.
I personally believe I have more than most.
This time of year makes me think of what I have and what is important to me.

A great woman that has been my lover and best friend for 40+ years.If she was not with me I do not know what I would do.
As you all know I have great kids and more grandkids than most.
I am blessed that they only live about 15 min.for us.
They still come around often ( and we love it).
I do a job that I am very good at and still enjoy doing it.
I have friends that are still around after more years than most.
I have good people to work with and that I get along with. We try to have fun while we work.
I have met new friends through blogs.
A few things people do not think of---
A good chair to rest, sleep, and fart in.
A good car to rest ,sleep, and fart in.( this when I am on the outs with my woman)
I am blessed to work in a job where I keep our freezer full of meat.( this my be the reason I have such a stealthy figure).
We both are reasonably healthy even though I have the deadly trio ( gray hair-bad knees and a big ass)
We own our house free and clear.
I sometimes have a warped way of looking at life.
This is a time in my life that I look at things in a different way.Like maybe a good crap is better than a new pair of pants.
A great TV to watch while I sleep,rest, and fart in my chair.
Till next time------------Poohpa

Houston Trip

2010-11-15T17:28:00.000-06:00

Well you knew this was coming.
On Veterans Day ,My BFF, Clair and I took 2 patients to the Houston Hospital.We left about 7am and arrived,after a breakfast stop, about 11:45.
Notice that the porch swing is set up for a wheelchair.Everything is wheelchair accessible.
There are toy displays everywhere and plenty to play with.Smiles are plentiful even on the kids.All Shriners must wear the "Fez" when there.
This is the view from the 5th floor up to the roof. I could not take as many pics as I wanted.I was afraid I would step on someones toes.It was raining hard so no pics from the outside.The place very pretty, inside and out.

Story about one of the boys--
He was born with Cerebral Palsy ,I know I did not spell this right spell check did not help,in Las Vegas.When he was 2 they moved to Texas because of the research done in Houston.He had his 1st operation at 2yrs. After many trips and treatments he is 15 and playing high school football and soccer.
When being treated,the cost is nothing to the parents.No insurance.No asking for money,no matter what the income.Rich or poor.No even for a Coke.We feed them and transport.If needed we will even lodge them and the parents.
We just hope they will remember us later. Many Dads go one to become Masons and Shriners.
Till next time-------------Poohpa

Redneck Races

2010-11-08T22:40:00.000-06:00

This last weekend was the last race this year at Texas Motor Speedway.I enjoy the races on occasion.Once every 3 or 4 years is fine with me.Not that there is anything wrong with the races,but it is a real ass whipping to go.
To get there,only 10 miles from the house,the traffic can be tuff if you don't leave early.It moves well,but it can move slow.You take a quarter million people and put them in a small area,it can be fun.
I am the kind of person that likes to watch people.There are a bunch of weird bastards to watch.Drunks are my favorite.I love to watch them stagger and stumble, kind of like me. When they pass out is the best.In their chairs,in the back of the truck,or outside of the pisser.
You see women that show their boobs( I would never look---).
Men that puke their guts out in public.
I very seldom drink and rarely ever drink to much.This is the reason why.My Dads cousin,AJ, was a fall down drunk.I have seen all of this up close and personal.
It is hard to take when you are 8.
Till next time---Poohpa

Phone useage

2010-11-05T17:21:00.001-06:00

My Internet BFF Joy just posted about people that talk on cell phones while driving.
She must hate me.I admit it,I am one of the a-holes that talk when driving.
I used to bitch like an old man( Damn that is me),about people that did not watch what they are doing.Here I am admitting to the whole world,that I talk and drive at the same time.
Now I have changed.It is now OK to talk and drive.Along as you remain in control and stays to hell out of my way.
The a-holes I hate are the drive-texters.I thought I had my head up my butt! These guys are damn Nuts.
I even saw a motorcycle dude texting--Dumb ass (Hey that might be me).Poohpa state law says you are Stupid.
Till next time------Poohpa

Weather Change

2010-11-03T19:59:00.000-06:00

The weather down here is beginning to get a little cooler at night.It was cool and rainy this morning.Normally we only have a 2 day fall.This year we have had about 2 weeks of nice weather.
It has also brought out of the nuts(and I am not talking about the ones in the trees).
Crazy people that drive 90 in a rain storm.
People that drive up your ass when your at a stop sign.
Turds that want 2pds of custom cut chili meat 10 minutes before closing time.
Turds that think they are doing you a favor by ordering 30 pds of super thin cut beef jerky, when it's on sale for 1.99.
Why is that cool or cold temps make stupid people hungry?
Enough of my pre bitch'n.I am sure you will hear more later.
Till next time-------Poohpa

OMG

2010-10-27T06:20:00.000-05:00

Gees it I have done it now----I pissed my daughter off---Duh
How did you piss her off Poohpa?
Did you fart in her face?
Did you talk bad about her husband?
Did you slam a door on her?
Did you say her butt looked big?
Did you talk bad about her new car?

No, I say, I did none of this!!!!!!!!!!!
I never fart in her face! She is too tall.
I like her husband! ( Let it be known all son-in-laws can be a dumb ass--This is a Poohpa state law).
She has a great butt!
I love her car!

What did I do?
I said she was acting like her MOTHER.OMG I could have hit her with a wet dog turd and not have gotten in more crap!
If you have not figured it out yet. I love her Mom.
She loves her kids.
She loves her grandkids to a falt.
She would fight a tornado for her kids or the grandkids.
She raised great kids and taught them to care for others.
And to top it off she looks damn good for her years!

I did not know that the ole stinkeye was passed on through he genes. Maybe it is a learned trait.I do not know,but I have been getting the major stink eye form her!
What did I do wrong?
Till next time-------------Poohpa

Texas World Series

2010-10-22T23:55:00.000-05:00

Game #6 was one of the great ball games that I have ever seen.If you have not heard the Ranger beat the Yankees.It was awesome.

We have been waiting for 30yrs for a chance at the big game.Win or lost the Rangers are winners in my books.I wish I would have been at the game, but my wallet did not let me. The World Series will be in Arlington Tx. next week.Life is good.

Next February the Super Bowl will be played in Arlington also.The tickets are unreal as far as the price.I cannot go to the game ,but I have volunteer to work some of the events. Even though the game will be better on TV,Every man wants to be there.

Our city of Fort Worth will be featured on ESPN.Dallas will also be spot lighted( but who gives a shit?) Can you tell I think Dallas sucks.

Till next time-----Poohpa

I just found out that I will be making my first trip to Houston.I will be taking a child down to the Shriner's Hospital.The unit I belong to,The Flying Fez, Is responsible for transporting the patients to the hospitals.

New Post

2010-10-18T21:54:00.000-05:00

I know it has been a bit since I last posted.But I have been busy.
Full time job.
Part time job.
Working the circus for the Shriners.
Playing with the grandkids.
Playing with the grandkids grand mother.
Along with all of that,I went to the Dr., to see about the spot on my nose.I thought it was just a zit gone bad, but my regular Doctor made me see a dermatologist. As it turns out he was right.A small skin cancer was removed.
Everything is OK as far as I know.
Till next time--------------Poohpa

Shriners Night

2010-10-09T23:39:00.000-05:00

My BFF Bill,his grandson,and some of my grandkids.
Every year before the circus starts we have a show for the members and friends.A short circus and free rides for the kids. Fun for all,even big kids.

Poohpa and Jimmy dishing out drinks to the multitudes

Abbie,Kasey,Hailey, and an elephant butt

Two Speed and Jennifer.

Friday morning at 10 am, the Shriners put on a free circus for the disabled, disadvantaged,and mentally challenged.This one of the times it is really cool to be a Shriner.I had two of my grand daughters help me work the circus.It is a great lesson for the girls to learn how lucky they are,not everyone is as lucky as we are.

Nose 2

2010-10-04T22:34:00.000-05:00

Just to tell you know I NEVER SAID SHE HAD A NIP RING! I just said she does not like to talk about it.
I think some bastard must have talked ( Ethel you are on my list).When I got home today she just stared at me.
As I walked by,she jumped up and rabbit kicked me in the throat. For a woman that is only 3'2",she is very nimble.As we came down on the floor, she put me in a scissor lock around the waist.
She told me to say "Uncle".
" No" I says.
The she twisted my ear and tells me to say "Uncle".
" No" I says.
Then while I was down on the floor with the wind knocked out of me and a sore ear. She bit me on the damn nose. My zit on my nose was almost gone,but now it is bleeding again.
Will I ever get well?
Till next time------Poohpa

Stanley

2010-09-29T06:48:00.000-05:00

One of my duties with my Shrine Unit is to call and keep up with our sick members.I have talked To Stanley about three times since spring.
The first time he was not feeling well.The next time he was going in for a stint.When I called him Monday,he told me he was waiting for a heart transplant. He seems to be doing well.He is week but in good humor.He attended bingo at the Masonic Temple Friday night,but says he tires easily.He will be traveling to Salt Lake City for the surgery throgh the V.A.
Every one can benifit for prayer.Help if you can.A little knee bending never hurts.
Till next time-----Poohpa

Zit Warning

2010-09-29T06:22:00.000-05:00

O.K. I have this major zit on the bridge of my nose.The freak'n thing is the size of Mt. Hood. In my defense ,a small blemish on the bridge of the nose, becomes very large because of my CPAP.The mask I wear rubs on any sore and goes nuts if I don't notice it.

Because I am such a studly dude,I get many questions while waiting on my customers.I think when you are so damn good look'n,as I am,you cannot hide it.

As you all know it is hard for me to control my bullshit level.

I have told people-

1. Cut in a knife fight.

2. Blew my nose to hard and a boog blew out the side.

3. Brain surgery through the top of my nose.

4.Was getting my nose pierced and the girl sneezed and missed.

5. The bitch bit me.

6. A nipple ring accident.

If Sondi reads this,I am in deep shit.She does not like people to know about the ring.State law tells me not to tell. But some times a man has to do what man has to do!

If I get the ol' stink eye when I get home I will know.

Pray for me.

Tilll next time----Poohpa

Rudeness

2010-09-20T21:43:00.000-05:00

My almost new BFF,Joy the Internet queen,a few weeks ago posted on her blog about some one who hit her car.She had just gotten it fixed from being hit at the mall.I felt sorry for her. When a person cares and loves their car,it really hurts them.

This brings me to my latest rant.What has happened to common since?People just don't give a damn any more!

This brings me to more things that piss me off.

Turds that do not pull over until the last 20 ft, when the lane ends.

Turds that cannot park in a space straight.Park it right dumb ass,the next person has a hard time getting in or out without hitting another car.

Turds that play their radio so loud that you can feel it a block away.

Turds that do not know who has the right of way at a four way stop.

Turds that do not understand what a double white line is for.

Turds in diesel trucks that leave them running when the trucks are not occupied.(the damn things stink and it is against the law--a real state law).
Tiil next time-------Poohpa

Fort Smith #2

2010-09-15T05:05:00.000-05:00

I was able to get the lap top to down load pic's after I bitch slapped it a couple of times.They say we went to Ft.Smith to play soccer.

Every time we go the ladies ask to to Hooters.They have a great time and the Dads enjoy it too.

Abbie in a little action.

The real reason the ladies like Ft.Smith is to play,either in the pool with Gerry or at Hooters.Soccer whats that?

Abbie and Sammi (along with Gerry and Nolan).

Tomi and Abbie getting a shoe shine,showing a little attitude.

Goofy girls.

Bother Nolan enjoyed Hooters the most.

Till next time---------Poohpa

Fort Smith Soccer

2010-09-14T20:50:00.000-05:00

Me and damn computer are fighting.I think it is winning! I have been trying to down load pic's of our trip but the damn thing will not let me.
Is it acceptable to bitch slap a lap top? I am just about ready.I will try later, if you see a bunch of pic's later you will know I have won.
Till next time----------Poohpa

Great time of year

2010-09-09T22:06:00.000-05:00

Shortly it will be time for our yearly Shrine Circus.

This is a time that I enjoy almost as much as Christmas.

Could this be because I am just a big kid at heart.--Duh

Last year for the first time, I was able to take off from work and work the early Friday morning performance.This free for the disadvantaged kids for the Tarrant county area.Lots of fun for kids that do not get do much of this type of stuff. Smiles every where, some on kids,mostly on Shriners. We party hard but work hard for the kids.

Pictures will come.

If you are in town Oct.9th-16th, come take in our show.

Till next time------------------Poohpa

Cats #2

2010-09-08T23:09:00.000-05:00

Now you think I don't like cats--wrong.I don't like pets of any kind in the house.All they do is eat and crap,they don't even work.
We had a outside cat named Flash the Wonder Cat.He controlled the neighbor hood.All cats and most dogs feared him.He only thought of three things eating, fighting,and screwing.He was my hero.One day we were cutting trees in the back yard.Flash was just watching( notice he was not working).As he walked across the yard,I happened to start the saw.He jumped up and made a right turn all at the same time.He cleared the trampoline with 3 feet to spare.I almost pissed on myself.
One day I was working on my 64 Chevy(she was called the Thunder Cruiser).As I changed the plugs this paw came out from the fender and touched my hand.I jumped up and hit my head on the hood.Thought I was having a stroke.
And you wonder why I don't like cats that much,although they my great fish bait.

Just a random thought.
If we feed our babies with a little spoons,do women from China use toothpicks?
Till next time---------------Poohpa

Cats

2010-09-07T21:13:00.000-05:00

I am a grouchy old fart,this is a given.We have had cats around our house for almost 20yrs.The cats have been gone for a few years.My wife loved the cats,I on the other hand did not.The cats ruled the house. They never had a job,never worked a day in their lives.I,on the other hand, worked 7 days a week for the last 10 yrs.My wife fed them twice a day for years.She does not even get me a glass of water when she sets the dinner table( most of the time I even cook the dinner).Some thing is wrong with this.
When the last cat (Bailey) she cried for 2wks,no shit 2wks!After working for 41 yrs and 41 yrs of marriage,I would rate 2 or 3 tears,this is also a given.
When the last one passed,I would not let her have another inside animal ,so we now have 2 outside cats. These are fed 3 times a day.This ain't right .They don't even have to do dishes. And you wounder why I am so bitchy.
Tiil next time---------------Poohpa

New TV Shows

2010-09-01T20:52:00.000-05:00

Damn if I have to listen or watch one more TV rerun I will just go damn crazy! I love NCSI and cannot want for a new show.Me and Jethro are two of coolest and meanest dudes in the world.I have fought more bad guys and serial killers than McGarrett.Of course all the women want me,it is a curse that I have lived with for most of my life(when I was young I did not know that they wanted me).
If I watch one more Big Brother show I will go nuts.Nothing is worse than listening to almost grown people bitch.whine. and lie.They do it badly and to often.My wife loves this crap.Thats right I said crap and thats what I mean-crap-crap-crap.Back stabbing little bastards.
I need man shows.Head roll and just a little T and A. A new state law.
Just waiting for good show.
Till next time-------Poohpa

Sweetie Pies

2010-08-27T18:13:00.000-05:00

I have taken Sarah's advice about Sweetie Pies.
The place is a restaurant in the big town of Decatur Tx.Kind of nice and a cute place.
All I can tell you about our trip is --
bug-
pants-
wife-
freak out-
no pants-
side of highway-
death treat if I blog about it-
and I thought the stink eye was bad
Till next time------------------Poohpa

Getting Older

2010-08-23T20:26:00.000-05:00

Every man has the fear of losing his hair when he gets older. Myself I have head of studly gray
hair .I have been blessed with a great head of hair,not that I look like Big Foot or anything like that.Great genes ,I guess.My father had great hair,so did my grandad, they had less gray hair than I do.My Dad reminded me of that ever time we met.
What don't under stand why we grow it other places.I have eyebrows that grow so fast I feel like a catfish some times.I have known guy that have so much ear hair that if they used a trimmer, it had be gas powered.Some grow so hair on their backs they look like a bear.I knew a guy that could braid their nose hair.
In my mind I know all women secretly want to run their hand through my hair.This is a curse I have lived with for most of my life.
Till next time---------Poohpa

Dinner Club#2

2010-08-18T20:09:00.000-05:00

Other things have happened on our night out.
My buddy,Richard, was walking to his car and stepped in a 20 pd. pile of cat crap.He had is new pair of Doc Martins on,you know with the 5 inch soles and 3 inch grooves.We had already left and when we returned he was using a stick to get the crap out.I just laughed,he just cussed.He had to drive to the restaurant with no shoes on,Linda would not let them in the car.
Darlene had us stop at the Krispy Kreme to go to the bathroom. As he walked across the lot, she was hit by a truck.She was fine but shaken.She forgot to go pee.
Next time I work up the nerve I will tell you about the Sweetie Pies trip.
Till next time ---------Poohpa

Dinning Out

2010-08-15T20:43:00.000-05:00

Every Friday night we go out to eat with our friends.We have a group of eight that have gotten together for years.This has been a weekly occurrence for 25+ years.People come and people go,but the supper club goes on.
Over the years many funny things have happened.
The time that Bill threw and leaf on me in the pool and I thought a bat was sucking my brains out.
My buddy Drew tried go get out of our van without undoing the seat belt. He hung there like a rag doll, not being able to get in or out.
On my 40th birthday they gave a birthday cake that was really a water balloon,with chocolate icing on it.When I cut it,it burst,and icing was hanging from the ceiling.When I got up that morning,my car was wrapped in shrink wrap ,about 200ft. of it.When I got to work they had up notes and signs all over the store.Some not very nice. My trees were covered with toilet paper.Rude signs painted all over my car.The inside of the car was filled with balloons.
Needless to say it ,took me a year ,but I got all of them back.
The time that Bill laughed at me so hard,he shot a piece of Oreo cookie out his nose,and had to got to the hospital.He could not talk for about 3 days.
More next time-------Poohpa

My hero

2010-08-11T17:17:00.000-05:00

Steven Slater is my hero.The just could not take that bitch'n woman anymore.She cussed him and even hit him with the bags.I wonder what else she did before the plane landed.Some times it just ain't worth it.He will lose his job,his freedom,and even maybe even his retirement.
This because a woman could not follow the rules.When did people become so rude?Why does it always have to about me? Me,me,me,me,me,me and me.Courtesy has gone to hell.
I blame this on my generation, the sixties. If you do not remember it was all about ME.If you did not do it your way,you copped out.Do don't have time for your kids--so what? Don't want to work--tuff shit.Don't want to go to school,who cares?
You ever heard the saying,"shit rolls down hill." This is what happens morals go to hell!What ever happen to the golden rule?
When you do not make your kids behave,you have parents like this woman.
Our country needs a recurrence of family values.The old ways tend to be the best ways.This should be a state law.
This coming from an Old Fart, and proud of it.
I will quit gripe'n now.
Till next time---------------------Poohpa

Just a few pics from Galveston

2010-08-10T19:42:00.000-05:00

I wish is was my beach house.

Abbie and Nolan on the beach.

Sand time.

Fishing in the afternoon.

Trip home.

Till next time-----Poohpa

Galveston

2010-08-09T19:42:00.000-05:00

When we went to Galveston for the weekend. We had a great time.We spent a day at the beach and also took the grandkids fishing.Nolan caught 4 fish,his little sister Abbie,caught 8 fish.As you know this really miffed Nolan His little sister out fished him.
Being the grand dad I am ,I offered Nolan a dollar to kiss a dead shrimp.I just knew he would do it,I had camera in hand, but the little fart would not do it.I saved a dollar.
The beach was good,no sea weed, but the jelly fish were bad.One came out of a large wave and got Miss Abbie.The life guard had vinegar to put on it, the sting was better after 20 minutes.The natural remedy is to pee on it,I was told to do the deed,but refused for fear of scaring them for life.
I also remembered, that a sun burn on the under side of you arms,hurt like hell. This is a state law you should never forget.
Till next time--------Poohpa

Out of town

2010-08-08T22:25:00.000-05:00

I just thought I would let you know that we have been out of town for a few days.I do not have much to say right know, but more to come in a few days.We took a few days and drove down to Galveston, for a day of rest. Till next time------Poohpa

Outcast

2010-08-02T21:32:00.000-05:00

This little guy is my youngest grandson (Andrew),doesn't he look sweet.

For the second time he has been expelled from church daycare.When he is put in there so Mom and Dad go to church, he just raises a little hell.He is a natural Mama's boy.

I think his picture is posted on the wall with a red circle with slash through it.I think it is a wanted poster.

His motto is look cute and raise hell.My kind of boy.

Till next time-----Poohpa

Shooters

2010-08-01T21:38:00.001-05:00

My grandson,Nolan,just turned 14 a couple of weeks ago.He is a small boy(6ft and a size 14 shoe).He called last week and ask if I would take him shooting.His Mom and I go every once in a while.

So we went and I gave him a quick lesson on gun operation and mostly gun safety.He actually listened .I know it shocked me too.

This is his first set of shots--not bad!

My daughter has turned out be a great shot.Men,she shoots the nuts out first! Ouch!

Out of a box of shells,50,he hit the target,in the kill zone 90% of the time.We had a good time.

He keeps is target on his wall and take every one that visits the house to show off.

It took 2 days to get the grin off his face.

Till next time ----Poohpa

The Ol Stink Eye

2010-07-26T22:25:00.000-05:00

A couple of days ago I saw a young man riding a crotch rocket.It is hard for me to remember the time when that was me on the bike.Old school before the crotch rockets were popular with the kids.We rode for about 8yrs with The Cycle Club of Fort Worth.That's right my wife was a biker bitch(we do not call her that for safety reasons).
She was always one of the shortest,but the cutest,women at any club function.She was teased and picked on because of her height,most of the time she took it in stride.I remember one time when a member from another club cornered her and was giving her a hard time.I knew he was in trouble.Before he knew it she had kicked him just above the boot.The poor son of a bitch never knew what hit him until he hit the ground in pure pain.That was the first time I ever saw her use of the stink eye.
The next time was when I called her short ass, this a bad call on my part.I got such a bad case of the ol stink eye that my blood ran cold for two days.I still remember the day, I still get chills to this day.
Till next time----Poohpa

Texting

2010-07-23T21:35:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I saw a lady driving down the freeway in rush hour traffic texting.Even I know this is not smart.Just call me an old fart but I think texting will ruin the world.I refuse to give in,this coming from the man that would never own a cell phone or a computer. I will never become a text/tard.
Yes I said tard anyone that cannot live without it has got to be retarded.It is going to be the social down fall of the world.I swear kids cannot spell or even have a normal conversation any more.Some of my friends do not understand my refusal to change.Who gives a crap? I am what I am.
Till next time, in a text free zone----Poohpa This is a new state law!

Trip

2010-07-22T22:15:00.000-05:00

Well just a little rant about drivers.
On our trip to Nashville we took a short trip to the Jack Daniels distillery.The drive was about 70 miles from the airport.It was a nice drive, green trees and rolling hills.The homes were just breath taking.
The roads had fairly narrow lanes(nothing like Texas roads but no place is like Texas).As I rounded an inside curve, doing about 60 mph, this butt head was taking his half of the road out of the center.I swear to God he was half way into my lane! We were only about 100ft apart when we saw each other.
I just want to tell you I did pee and crap on myself all at the same time---not. I hope he crapped his pants.
If it had not been for my cat like reflexes and the fact I did not have my head up my butt,we would be a hood ornament for a Ford F-250.
In the process Linda spilled her coke all over her shirt and had to change before the tour.I was the hero for about 3minutes,then I got the stink eye for the shirt.
Not bad for a man with a bad turd/eye injury.
Till next time---Poohpa

Nashville 2010

2010-07-16T17:00:00.000-05:00

When in Nashville you need to go to the Ryman.We are not big on bluegrass,but we were surprised to find a Ft. Worth group there.The Quebe Sisters.Very good and a show stopper.

The head liners were Vincent and Daley.Bluegrass super stars. Very funny and the music will give you goosebumps.

Inside the Ryman (we all ways feel so young when we go to something like this)

Stage

Belle Meade Plantation

Jack Daniel's Distillery

Sondi,Jack,and Linda

Killer bag

2010-07-16T16:36:00.000-05:00

We spent a few days in Nashville. We had a great time with our friends(Richard and Linda). We had a small incident with a killer bag.It seems to be harmless---- right? Ever since the black bottom biscuits incident,I have feared for my life.I have been getting the stink eye for days.

In the hotel she was pulling her bag down the hallway.Just as we passed the maid cart.she said"Look in this room".This was her chance,she stopped the damn bag beside the maids cart.Of course I was looking to my right.I almost took out the cart and the bag,If it had not been for my cat like and perfect reflexes I would be pushing up daises by now!

She knows I missed the bullet,but she is still smiling while giving me the ole stink eye.

Every one pray for me---till next time Poohpa

Crap shooters #2

2010-07-10T23:08:00.000-05:00

Two of my grand kids just found my box of crap shooters.I was terrible,there was poop flying every where. I got hit about 20 times,twice in the eye.How do I go to work explain to the boss that I cannot work because of a turd/eye injury?The kids had fun, even though I had a major eye/turd injury.
We ate spaghetti and meat sauce for dinner.It was great along with the cajun style garlic bread.
Got to go ,I am getting the ole stink eye again. Till next time---Poohpa

Rat

2010-07-06T09:03:00.000-05:00

Who was it? Who did it? Was it you Ethel?Darlene?
I know not what is going on.This morning I woke up and found a plate of black bottom biscuits staring at me from across the bedroom!I fear waking up in the morning tied to the bed with a burnt biscuit stuck in my mouth! Maybe I will be lucky and that will be the only place I find one stuck.
I might have to chew my arm off to get loose.One armed bloggers have a hard time, not to mention cutting meat for a living.
Pray for me ! will be sick today just thinking about it.I fear sleep.

4th of July

2010-07-04T21:27:00.000-05:00

Last night we had some of the kids and grandkids over for chicken fajitas and a good time.We went to the local city fireworks and had a great time for all.
Now for the real reason I am writing. My wife and I just got through eating grilled ribeyes and baked taters Real man food!Along the the meal we also have garlic toast. God knows my wife is a good cook,but she can burn a batch of bread faster than a cat can lick his ass. Black bottom biscuits are her specialty.
She can sit beside the oven and still mess the bread up(I think is really a commie plot). Lord knows I love her but ,what the hell! It ain't brain surgery.
I have done my share of extra well done burgers,but I was distracted (that's my story and I am sticking to it).
As with my brother-in-law,I think I am safe, because she does not read my blog.She think it is silly and a waste of my time. As long as no one(Darlene and Ethel) does not rat me out ,it will be safe to sleep tonight.
Pray for me ,that she will not read this-----Poohpa

Reading Material

2010-07-01T21:05:00.000-05:00

I was just tagged by my blog friend from S. Korea , Our Jen Eric Life, to write a what I read in the potty.The reality of life is most people read in the crapper.Me,it is mostly the news paper.
In my old fart age I seem to go to sleep after about 2 pages.I do how ever listen to audio books.I prefer to listen to bang bang shoot em ups. Anything by Dan Brown,Robert B. Parker,Jonathan King.Or Robert Crais.
Some times I just ponder what I will write on this blog(great thing like crap shooters or redneck family).
What about you?

Crap shooters

2010-06-30T12:09:00.001-05:00

My sister ,Debbie,and my other sisters have my humor-rude ,crude,silly,childish,and even profane. At the cook out for sister from Utah,she gave me a box of crap shooters.Just imagine what it could be.

A whole box of foam turds..Yep that's right turds-brown bombs-poop-dookie. They even a rubber band attached so you can shoot them across the room.

Flying dookie.What else can a real man expect from his sister? Lord knows that I am so proud of her. The grand daughter spent the night shooting dookie all over the den.

Life is good-----Till next time --Poohpa

Cook out

2010-06-28T10:41:00.000-05:00

Rug rats every are where

Tammy-Poohpa-Vickie-Russ-Debbie-Becki-Mom

This is my kids and some of my neices and their husbands.

We had a cook out for my sister (Becki) and her boyfriend (Riki).
We had a small turnout,about 31 showed up. I fixed 30 burgers,30+ dogs,and about 5lb. of smoked sausage.No one died from the food. All of the kids had fun and played for hours out side, even though it was 95f,a few tears but no blood. Every one brought chips,water,and buns.

We had a great time and the fellow ship was great.

Life is good when you have a good family,mine is the best,we love them all.