The bastards-
Don
Eddie
Kenny-pygmy bastard ring leader and cake maker.
I have to admit a water balloon taped down and iced like a cake is pretty ingenious.
I had to do something to each one on their birthdays.
The first was Don.
On his day we showed up with some of the band kids.They loved to deface private property.
Before I could get out of my car,the band kids were hard at work.You could hear the toilet paper hitting the ground.--thump-thump-thump.It sounded like mortars hitting the ground.They very large oak trees and they were covered top to bottom.Pay backs are sweet.
The second was Eddie.
His was a little different.After Don he thought he was going to get the same thing.Wrong!
I took the spinal cords from pork loins.This things are very nasty.Like super snot.I put these under his door handles,steering wheel,and wiper blades.It took him days to get it off.
Then there was Kenny-pygmy bastard ring leader.
He went out of town on his birthday and put his pickup in the garage so I could not get to it.Wrong.His daughter,Niki,pulled it out for me.I filled the back with 300 lbs of cow crap.Yep 300lbs of stinking cow shit.I also put little cocktail umbrellas in the crap.Little signs that said"this dungs for you".
He was not a happy pygmy.Life is good.
Till next time-----Poohpa
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
Birthday Past
I said earlier that I had just turned 60.(Damn that's old)
I was thinking about birthdays past.
Toys long gone,old friends not seen for years.
The most memorable is when I turned 40.Good friends and good times are hard to forget.
We were involved with our kids high school .I was on the band booster board.
The group of people we met were very much fun to be with,they had my type of humor
(rude and crude).We got together every week to eat.
The morning of my birthday I got ready to go to work.Went to get my coffee and looked out the kitchen window.Now--if I am late to work it doesn't just bother me,but if some other than me does--well let's just say it makes me pissy.
I looked out the kitchen window and what do I see?
My car filled with balloons and shrink wrapped with miles of film.Windows painted with rude comments.Not only that,but my trees filled with toilet paper hanging like snakes from the top of them.I had been teeped by my buds.Bastards-sonsabitches-ass wipes.(that was the nice things I said).
The first thing I did was call them all.5:30 am is the perfect time for threatening phone calls.
I will get them back.
It took 45 min. to clean my car up so I can go to work.Then when I get to work(mad as hell) they had gone to my store and posted signs in the back room and ladies room.
Later that night,we went to Kenny's house to meet to go out for dinner.Kenny says "We have a birthday cake for you to cut before we go eat".
The cake was a water balloon iced with chocolate frosting.Have you ever been pissed on by a cake?
Bastards, and people wonder why I hate people.
Till next time------ Poohpa
Next time---the pay back
I was thinking about birthdays past.
Toys long gone,old friends not seen for years.
The most memorable is when I turned 40.Good friends and good times are hard to forget.
We were involved with our kids high school .I was on the band booster board.
The group of people we met were very much fun to be with,they had my type of humor
(rude and crude).We got together every week to eat.
The morning of my birthday I got ready to go to work.Went to get my coffee and looked out the kitchen window.Now--if I am late to work it doesn't just bother me,but if some other than me does--well let's just say it makes me pissy.
I looked out the kitchen window and what do I see?
My car filled with balloons and shrink wrapped with miles of film.Windows painted with rude comments.Not only that,but my trees filled with toilet paper hanging like snakes from the top of them.I had been teeped by my buds.Bastards-sonsabitches-ass wipes.(that was the nice things I said).
The first thing I did was call them all.5:30 am is the perfect time for threatening phone calls.
I will get them back.
It took 45 min. to clean my car up so I can go to work.Then when I get to work(mad as hell) they had gone to my store and posted signs in the back room and ladies room.
Later that night,we went to Kenny's house to meet to go out for dinner.Kenny says "We have a birthday cake for you to cut before we go eat".
The cake was a water balloon iced with chocolate frosting.Have you ever been pissed on by a cake?
Bastards, and people wonder why I hate people.
Till next time------ Poohpa
Next time---the pay back
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Getting Old
Today I just got old.
Today is my birthday.
40 wasn't bad.
50 was OK.
60 almost sucks.
Can't see.
Can't pee.
Can't bend.
Can't mend as well as I used to.
I cannot bitch--I have lived a good life.I never got rich, but have had a good life.You do not need to have a lot of money to be rich in love and life.
It is a blessing that a lot of people never had.
41 years with my wife.
3 kids.
8 grand kids.
Life is good!!!!!!!!!!!!
Till next time--------------Poohpa
Today is my birthday.
40 wasn't bad.
50 was OK.
60 almost sucks.
Can't see.
Can't pee.
Can't bend.
Can't mend as well as I used to.
I cannot bitch--I have lived a good life.I never got rich, but have had a good life.You do not need to have a lot of money to be rich in love and life.
It is a blessing that a lot of people never had.
41 years with my wife.
3 kids.
8 grand kids.
Life is good!!!!!!!!!!!!
Till next time--------------Poohpa
Friday, February 11, 2011
Fred
Christmas,Fred was still with me.Sondi ask me to get a box out of the closet so she would wrap a shirt for her Mom.
So Fred and I got up and went to the closet to get a box off of the top shelf.Fred was bitch'n but I went anyway.
As I was going through the stash of boxes,a patty box fell.( I talked about the patty box in an earlier post.They were small and folded flat.)
As it fell, in slow motion,I saw it slowly spin and rotate as it came down.It looked like sword in an old ninja movie.
It met Fred at about 40 miles per hour.When it hit I almost passed out.Nearly pissed.And cussed all at the same time.
Fred was not happy, neither was I .
I still hurt every time I think of it.
Till next time-----Poohpa
So Fred and I got up and went to the closet to get a box off of the top shelf.Fred was bitch'n but I went anyway.
As I was going through the stash of boxes,a patty box fell.( I talked about the patty box in an earlier post.They were small and folded flat.)
As it fell, in slow motion,I saw it slowly spin and rotate as it came down.It looked like sword in an old ninja movie.
It met Fred at about 40 miles per hour.When it hit I almost passed out.Nearly pissed.And cussed all at the same time.
Fred was not happy, neither was I .
I still hurt every time I think of it.
Till next time-----Poohpa
I will not say that again
The passport issue has been resolved!
When we were at the Post Office applying for our passports I thought of an old story that happened to me years ago----
One day at work, Bud, tells me he had a flat tire on the way home and had to change it on the side of the road.
So I says--
I never have had a flat on the road.I have gotten up but had one in the drive way.
You know,the next morning bap-bap-bap---flat tire.
The next week my MIL came down with a fever blister on her top lip.
So I says---
You know I have never had a fever blister before.
The next morning--a big ole blister.This was not your run of the mill blister.The bastard took on a life of it's own.It would talk to complete strangers--look at me--look at me.It weighed so much I bent over to tie my shoe and almost fell over.I called it Fred.
About a week later ,Bud, says when he was a kid he broke his arm playing football.
I did not say a damn word.---Poohpa
When we were at the Post Office applying for our passports I thought of an old story that happened to me years ago----
One day at work, Bud, tells me he had a flat tire on the way home and had to change it on the side of the road.
So I says--
I never have had a flat on the road.I have gotten up but had one in the drive way.
You know,the next morning bap-bap-bap---flat tire.
The next week my MIL came down with a fever blister on her top lip.
So I says---
You know I have never had a fever blister before.
The next morning--a big ole blister.This was not your run of the mill blister.The bastard took on a life of it's own.It would talk to complete strangers--look at me--look at me.It weighed so much I bent over to tie my shoe and almost fell over.I called it Fred.
About a week later ,Bud, says when he was a kid he broke his arm playing football.
I did not say a damn word.---Poohpa
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Weather
I know my friend up north will laugh about us down south,but we don't have the equipment to handle this.Yesterday 60f today 19f with ice and snow.This normal for this time of year in Ft.Worth Tx.--the Stock Show is here.If we ever have bad weather it is always during the Stock Show.Not to mention we have the Super Bowl in town in in 6 days.This is a true state law.
Till next time---------------Poohpa
Till next time---------------Poohpa
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