Things that make me happy

A few things that make me happy.

• Grand kids.
• My wife.
• My kids.
• When children giggle instead of crying.
• Good food.
• Good food with good friends
• A good joke ( clean or dirty).
• Telling a good lie when your friends believe the bull shit.
• Being right---this don't happen often.
• Listening to a good book on CD while driving to work.
• The guys I work with,both jobs.
• All my women in my life.---This is a curse,I can't help it.
• A job well done.
• A good fart.

Till next time-------------Poohpa

Cruise

• 

  A few things I tried to find out while on the cruise---
• I want to see if you sit on the toilet and flushed---would it suck your guts out through your butt.I tried to get my 5yr old grandson to try it for a buck,but he ran and cried the first time he heard the turbo flush.He did not sit on the pot while at sea.He got real pissy before we got to the first port.
• Elvis was not working the buffet line.
• Could anyone in the Karaoke bar sing-------------Hell no.
• Why were only Indonesians working house keeping and the food lines-Italians were the ships sailors-and the Americans were the Cruise directors and entrainment staff.
• WHY in Gods name with a ship full of Texans were there no biscuits and gravy? There was Damn sure always tacos.
• Where the drunks funny---Hell yes.
• Could you really eat for 24 hrs. with out stopping-------Yes.--Pizza and ice cream 24 hrs a day.Life is good.
• I always wanted to piss off the fantail...Warning if you do use a mask and snorkle.Don't ask how I know this.                                                                                                                                       Until next time------------------------------Poohpa

Doctors

I hate going to see the sonabitches.

• There are lots of things I hate about them.


• They do not listen to what you say--only what they want to hear.


• They charge to much for what little service you actually get.It makes since to me that if you charge $50 for the insurance company,you should charge me the same if I pay cash.


• How come when I return a call, to them, you can never talk to a real person?


• Sick snotty little bastards in the same waiting room as people that just hurt.


• Cold fingers.


• The sound of KY jelly---splaaaat and then the slap of a rubber glove.


• Guys--When you bend over does he have one or two hands on your back?


• When you get double scoped--Does he use one or two hoses.Hopfully if he uses one,maybe he cleans it off first.


• Why does he never send flowers?


• Have you ever had a nurse or Doctor say thank you when you leave?

The New Year

The New Year is upon us.
Everyone makes their resolutions.
Here are a few of mine.
1.Even though I do look great for a big man,I will loose at least 10 lbs.
2.I will not talk about other people ( right).
3.I will not stare at women's butts.
4.I will be a better person.
5.I will not trip little kids or blind people.
6.I will blog more and do a better job.
7.I will wash my change my oil more often.
8.I will not fart and blame it on others.
9.I will not tell tall stories to my grand kids.
10.I will exercise more.
11. I hope to lower my blood pressure more.
12.I will not laugh so hard I pee my pants.
13.I will not flip off tailgaters.(right)
14.I will still talk bad about dumb ass drivers.
Till next time---------------Poohpa

Weather Change

The weather down here is beginning to get a little cooler at night.It was cool and rainy this morning.Normally we only have a 2 day fall.This year we have had about 2 weeks of nice weather.
It has also brought out of the nuts(and I am not talking about the ones in the trees).
Crazy people that drive 90 in a rain storm.
People that drive up your ass when your at a stop sign.
Turds that want 2pds of custom cut chili meat 10 minutes before closing time.
Turds that think they are doing you a favor by ordering 30 pds of super thin cut beef jerky, when it's on sale for 1.99.
Why is that cool or cold temps make stupid people hungry?
Enough of my pre bitch'n.I am sure you will hear more later.
Till next time-------Poohpa

Zit Warning

O.K. I have this major zit on the bridge of my nose.The freak'n thing is the size of Mt. Hood. In my defense ,a small blemish on the bridge of the nose, becomes very large because of my CPAP.The mask I wear rubs on any sore and goes nuts if I don't notice it.

Because I am such a studly dude,I get many questions while waiting on my customers.I think when you are so damn good look'n,as I am,you cannot hide it.

As you all know it is hard for me to control my bullshit level.

I have told people-

1. Cut in a knife fight.

2. Blew my nose to hard and a boog blew out the side.

3. Brain surgery through the top of my nose.

4.Was getting my nose pierced and the girl sneezed and missed.

5. The bitch bit me.

6. A nipple ring accident.

If Sondi reads this,I am in deep shit.She does not like people to know about the ring.State law tells me not to tell. But some times a man has to do what man has to do!

If I get the ol' stink eye when I get home I will know.

Pray for me.

Tilll next time----Poohpa

BUCKET LIST

• Marry the woman of my dreams--done
• Have a great family with 3 great kids--done
• Have family full of grand kids--done
• Visit the Grand Canyon--done
• See the Great Salt Lake--done
• Own our on home--done
• Become a Shriner to help kids that cannot help themselves--done
• Become debt free before I retire
• Travel to NYC--done
• Drive the west coast from Seattle to L.A.
• Drive the east coast from Key West to Maine
• Cruise and train to Alaska
• Visit the county Shropshire in England
• See a Worlds Fair--done
• Travel to the beaches of Normany to give thanks to all of the HERO'S that are buried there
• Own a big ass black Suburban
• Be able to drive my big ass Suburban to all my grand kids weddings

things that piss me off #2

1. red light cameras
2. dumb ass poeple that pass on the right side shoulder
3. don't forget tailgaters
4. rap and hip hop music
5. guy's that sag their pants ( you look like a dumb ass)
6. guy's that can't keep his hands off his junk
7. crotch rockets doing 90 on the back wheel
8. bastards that play the bass up to loud
9. when red light cameras go up they shorten the yellow light
10. the older I get,the more I hurt
11. food servers that play with their hair and smack their gum
12. people that do not try and learn english
13. mowing my yard when it is 100 f
14. mostly everything and everybody piss me off