Redneck Family

My wife is at the hospital waiting for sister to have her first baby.If you have a Big Chief tablet and a big pencil,I will try and explain my family to you.
My mom and dad divorced when I was a kid.
Mom married Jim. Jim is stepdad
Dad married Dean. Dean is step- mom.
I moved in with mom and step- dad.I now a step-brother--Randy
I meet Randy's sister a few year later--Sondra-not Sandra. She tells her next door neighbor that she is going to marry me.After one meeting(I did not know what was going on).We married after I got out of high school. It worked ,we have been married 40 yrs.
My step -dad is know my father-in-law.
My step- brother is now brother -in-law.
Sondi's mother's sister dies. She marries her brother-in-law(Paul) .-Sondi's uncle is now her step- dad.Her step- dad/uncle is now my father-in-law #2.
Before mom and dad divorced I had a brother (Russ) and sister ( Becki).
Dean has two girls (Debbie and Vickie).I now have two stepsisters.(dam'n I getting a head ache).Dad and Dean have girl(Tammy who now is having a baby). I now have a half sister.
Our kids still have hard time figuring out who is what.
They have 3 grand mothers-3 grand dads.
When we get together (40+ people ),my kids and us don't know who the hell we are related to.
A long with my sisters 642 ex husbands and my brothers ex wifes,it is a mess.
WARNING--YOU MAY NEED TO PRINT FOR LATER REFERENCE 1
I just carry Big Chief tablet and a big pencil.
I gotta go to bed--my head hurts--this took 6 hours to write.