The New Year

The New Year is upon us.
Everyone makes their resolutions.
Here are a few of mine.
1.Even though I do look great for a big man,I will loose at least 10 lbs.
2.I will not talk about other people ( right).
3.I will not stare at women's butts.
4.I will be a better person.
5.I will not trip little kids or blind people.
6.I will blog more and do a better job.
7.I will wash my change my oil more often.
8.I will not fart and blame it on others.
9.I will not tell tall stories to my grand kids.
10.I will exercise more.
11. I hope to lower my blood pressure more.
12.I will not laugh so hard I pee my pants.
13.I will not flip off tailgaters.(right)
14.I will still talk bad about dumb ass drivers.
Till next time---------------Poohpa

All is good

The New Year is upon us.
Christmas has passed.
We had a great time here at the Lowe house.
My grand kids were in rare form.No blood loss,but a few bumps and bruises. This is normal with six of the eight grand kids here.They ate and they played hard.Plenty of ham and turkey for all.
Santa was good to all.Bb guns and nerf guns were the hit of the day.
We got clothes and computers oh my.My favorite was a gift from Mookie.A writing pen that looks like a finger.When you pull it----farts.
I love this .I now know my deed is done.I have taught them low class redneck humor.
I think I am going to cry.I am so happy!
Till next time--------------Poohpa

Reason for the season

We all enjoy Christmas,this goes without saying.It can be a stressful time of year.In my type of work( meat dept.)it can be a very hard and lots of work too.Most of the time my customers are very nice.The others I just look the other way.
We all love the food.We all over eat.I do it daily.We are lucky to be in a country that we can celebrate anytime or any where we want.Without fear of retaliation by some one different from us.
Some and I hope all are lucky enough to give and receive gifts from our loved ones.
One of the best parts is being with our families.As you know this one my favorites.Kids and grand kids kick butt.
One thing that is easy to forget is why we celebrate.Our Lord and his Son.I don't want to preach.
His Birth-
His Life--
His Death for us--
That's what it is all about!
Till next time-------------Poohpa

Christmas Past

We are getting close to Christmas and I have not talked to you lately.I have been very busy at work-with the doctors--with the rehab--but also shopping for my baby.
I remember a few things from Christmas past.
The time my oldest son was a baby.he was so sick we almost put him in the hospital.At my Dads house on Christmas Eve,all he did was lay on Dad and eat potato chips.Dad talked about that till the day he pasted.
Last year little Kasey got a new plastic rifle that made shooting noises.For hours he carried that thing around and must have shot in 500 times the first hour.
The year my wife found cameras very cheap for my 10 little nieces and nephews.Their Moms bitched for years about the cost to them for development.Aunt Sondi always buys the best stuff for the kids.
The year that I drew my sisters name for a gift.The only thing I could think of was to make her something.When I brought out the deacons bench I made Vickie started crying.Hell thought she was pissed and apologised, then I got the best hug ever.
The Christmas lights of Christmas past--the bastards never work right.
The work and love my mil,Nannie,put into the Christmas dinner-( two types of corn-two kinds of mac& cheese-dressing with and without onions-olives and sweet pickles-and Dema's fruit salad).
Trying to get the kids up early so we could beat Nannie and Papa.This way we had time to our self with the kids.
My kids telling me to go back to bed,that it was 4:30,not 7:00.( Can you tell I love Christmas morning?).
The year my grandmother,Mell,accepted my invitation to celebrate with us.I had only asked for 35yrs.Later on that next year she passed away.She gave me one of the best presents ever,just by being there.
My fil,Papa, would claim some one stole his bread and have the kids get him another.Every year some one's bread gets stolen.
How every year my mil and my wife would make us save tags and bows.
One year I got hamburger patty boxes from work(we were throwing away about 200),it became a tradition to get a present in a patty box.Today there are only about 5 left,we wore out the rest.
Every year we hope we don't have black bottom bread.
The year my soon to be ex daughter-in-law,gave Sondi a platter she had made with all the grand kids names and hand prints.Instant tears for Sondi and Amy.
Best of all, just having our kids and their families with us!
I know this a long post, but we have many memories.
Till next time-----------------Poohpa
Merry Christmas to you and yours!

New Mouse

The other day my mouse broke.I tried to use the pad on my laptop.But I could not handle the stress.Two fingers to control.It did not work with just one finger.I cannot do it.It must be a commie plot or something.I must be a finger retard.
To make it worse I went to Staples to buy a new one( because they were on sale for 9.99)and the only one left was pink.
Now I am not homophobic or nothing but a pink one!
Damn it I can handle it.Also I am a cheap bastard.The cheap bastard part won out.

Yesterday I spent the afternoon training for the NFL Experience.This is part of the Super Bowl activities.I will not be able to afford the game so this is the next best thing.Maybe I will be in charge of the nipple check for the cheerleaders.
I will work five 4 hr shifts.I will hope for cheerleader duty.

Till next time---Poohpa

Knee Rehab

In 2006, I had a knee replacement.It went very well,I had very little pain after the surgery.Over the years my knee has gotten stiff.When I realised that I could not ride an exercise bike any more .After talking to my Dr I started a new round of rehab.
After 2 sessions,I found out a little 4ft9in woman could push my foot up to my ass.
I have muscled legs and have never been able to pull my legs up to my butt.If I se a runner do this it makes me sick.
I fear a cry or a fart will come out when the ladies are working on me.Either on will be embarrassing.Hopefully the fart will be dry and the cry be soft.
I have 2 treatments a week till the end of the year.
Till next time------------Poohpa

Me Chair

As one of my last post says I need my chair.Man needs a good place to park his big ass.Your chair is one of the few places a man can go, that is his own.If another violates this it ,is an affront to his manhood.To me this is as bad as messing with his food or his woman.
Archie Bunker, my hero,said his chair was sacred.If you sit another mans chair you mess the bumps his butt has made.

If you are invited to sit this OK.
Grandkids maybe OK.
A good looking woman is OK.
Any other should stay out.
The only man that can sit in my chair and I don't make get up is my son in law.This is the only man I know that works more hours than I do.He need the rest and sleeps there very well.

When some uninvited turd gets my chair I have to sit in a kitchen chair.

Man cannot sit on the sofa because women like to put pillows there.They just get in the way of a real man.Any man that likes a pillow filled sofa is probably a Nancy boy.This another state law.
Till next time--------------Poohpa

Warning

When I die I have been thinking about cremation.This is something I have thought long and hard about.


But after weeks of hard though I have changed my mind.
This because Sondi would mix my ashes with the cat litter.

Till next time------------Poohpa

Giving Thanks

Everyone has alot to give thanks for.
Even if we don't know what we have.
I personally believe I have more than most.
This time of year makes me think of what I have and what is important to me.

A great woman that has been my lover and best friend for 40+ years.If she was not with me I do not know what I would do.
As you all know I have great kids and more grandkids than most.
I am blessed that they only live about 15 min.for us.
They still come around often ( and we love it).
I do a job that I am very good at and still enjoy doing it.
I have friends that are still around after more years than most.
I have good people to work with and that I get along with. We try to have fun while we work.
I have met new friends through blogs.
A few things people do not think of---
A good chair to rest, sleep, and fart in.
A good car to rest ,sleep, and fart in.( this when I am on the outs with my woman)
I am blessed to work in a job where I keep our freezer full of meat.( this my be the reason I have such a stealthy figure).
We both are reasonably healthy even though I have the deadly trio ( gray hair-bad knees and a big ass)
We own our house free and clear.
I sometimes have a warped way of looking at life.
This is a time in my life that I look at things in a different way.Like maybe a good crap is better than a new pair of pants.
A great TV to watch while I sleep,rest, and fart in my chair.
Till next time------------Poohpa

Houston Trip

Well you knew this was coming.
On Veterans Day ,My BFF, Clair and I took 2 patients to the Houston Hospital.We left about 7am and arrived,after a breakfast stop, about 11:45.
Notice that the porch swing is set up for a wheelchair.Everything is wheelchair accessible.
There are toy displays everywhere and plenty to play with.Smiles are plentiful even on the kids.All Shriners must wear the "Fez" when there.
This is the view from the 5th floor up to the roof. I could not take as many pics as I wanted.I was afraid I would step on someones toes.It was raining hard so no pics from the outside.The place very pretty, inside and out.

Story about one of the boys--
He was born with Cerebral Palsy ,I know I did not spell this right spell check did not help,in Las Vegas.When he was 2 they moved to Texas because of the research done in Houston.He had his 1st operation at 2yrs. After many trips and treatments he is 15 and playing high school football and soccer.
When being treated,the cost is nothing to the parents.No insurance.No asking for money,no matter what the income.Rich or poor.No even for a Coke.We feed them and transport.If needed we will even lodge them and the parents.
We just hope they will remember us later. Many Dads go one to become Masons and Shriners.
Till next time-------------Poohpa

Redneck Races

This last weekend was the last race this year at Texas Motor Speedway.I enjoy the races on occasion.Once every 3 or 4 years is fine with me.Not that there is anything wrong with the races,but it is a real ass whipping to go.
To get there,only 10 miles from the house,the traffic can be tuff if you don't leave early.It moves well,but it can move slow.You take a quarter million people and put them in a small area,it can be fun.
I am the kind of person that likes to watch people.There are a bunch of weird bastards to watch.Drunks are my favorite.I love to watch them stagger and stumble, kind of like me. When they pass out is the best.In their chairs,in the back of the truck,or outside of the pisser.
You see women that show their boobs( I would never look---).
Men that puke their guts out in public.
I very seldom drink and rarely ever drink to much.This is the reason why.My Dads cousin,AJ, was a fall down drunk.I have seen all of this up close and personal.
It is hard to take when you are 8.
Till next time---Poohpa

Phone useage

My Internet BFF Joy just posted about people that talk on cell phones while driving.
She must hate me.I admit it,I am one of the a-holes that talk when driving.
I used to bitch like an old man( Damn that is me),about people that did not watch what they are doing.Here I am admitting to the whole world,that I talk and drive at the same time.
Now I have changed.It is now OK to talk and drive.Along as you remain in control and stays to hell out of my way.
The a-holes I hate are the drive-texters.I thought I had my head up my butt! These guys are damn Nuts.
I even saw a motorcycle dude texting--Dumb ass (Hey that might be me).Poohpa state law says you are Stupid.
Till next time------Poohpa

Weather Change

The weather down here is beginning to get a little cooler at night.It was cool and rainy this morning.Normally we only have a 2 day fall.This year we have had about 2 weeks of nice weather.
It has also brought out of the nuts(and I am not talking about the ones in the trees).
Crazy people that drive 90 in a rain storm.
People that drive up your ass when your at a stop sign.
Turds that want 2pds of custom cut chili meat 10 minutes before closing time.
Turds that think they are doing you a favor by ordering 30 pds of super thin cut beef jerky, when it's on sale for 1.99.
Why is that cool or cold temps make stupid people hungry?
Enough of my pre bitch'n.I am sure you will hear more later.
Till next time-------Poohpa

OMG

Gees it I have done it now----I pissed my daughter off---Duh
How did you piss her off Poohpa?
Did you fart in her face?
Did you talk bad about her husband?
Did you slam a door on her?
Did you say her butt looked big?
Did you talk bad about her new car?

No, I say, I did none of this!!!!!!!!!!!
I never fart in her face! She is too tall.
I like her husband! ( Let it be known all son-in-laws can be a dumb ass--This is a Poohpa state law).
She has a great butt!
I love her car!

What did I do?
I said she was acting like her MOTHER.OMG I could have hit her with a wet dog turd and not have gotten in more crap!
If you have not figured it out yet. I love her Mom.
She loves her kids.
She loves her grandkids to a falt.
She would fight a tornado for her kids or the grandkids.
She raised great kids and taught them to care for others.
And to top it off she looks damn good for her years!

I did not know that the ole stinkeye was passed on through he genes. Maybe it is a learned trait.I do not know,but I have been getting the major stink eye form her!
What did I do wrong?
Till next time-------------Poohpa

Texas World Series

Game #6 was one of the great ball games that I have ever seen.If you have not heard the Ranger beat the Yankees.It was awesome.

We have been waiting for 30yrs for a chance at the big game.Win or lost the Rangers are winners in my books.I wish I would have been at the game, but my wallet did not let me. The World Series will be in Arlington Tx. next week.Life is good.

Next February the Super Bowl will be played in Arlington also.The tickets are unreal as far as the price.I cannot go to the game ,but I have volunteer to work some of the events. Even though the game will be better on TV,Every man wants to be there.

Our city of Fort Worth will be featured on ESPN.Dallas will also be spot lighted( but who gives a shit?) Can you tell I think Dallas sucks.

Till next time-----Poohpa

I just found out that I will be making my first trip to Houston.I will be taking a child down to the Shriner's Hospital.The unit I belong to,The Flying Fez, Is responsible for transporting the patients to the hospitals.

New Post

I know it has been a bit since I last posted.But I have been busy.
Full time job.
Part time job.
Working the circus for the Shriners.
Playing with the grandkids.
Playing with the grandkids grand mother.
Along with all of that,I went to the Dr., to see about the spot on my nose.I thought it was just a zit gone bad, but my regular Doctor made me see a dermatologist. As it turns out he was right.A small skin cancer was removed.
Everything is OK as far as I know.
Till next time--------------Poohpa

Shriners Night

My BFF Bill,his grandson,and some of my grandkids.
Every year before the circus starts we have a show for the members and friends.A short circus and free rides for the kids. Fun for all,even big kids.

Poohpa and Jimmy dishing out drinks to the multitudes

Abbie,Kasey,Hailey, and an elephant butt

Two Speed and Jennifer.

Friday morning at 10 am, the Shriners put on a free circus for the disabled, disadvantaged,and mentally challenged.This one of the times it is really cool to be a Shriner.I had two of my grand daughters help me work the circus.It is a great lesson for the girls to learn how lucky they are,not everyone is as lucky as we are.

Nose 2

Just to tell you know I NEVER SAID SHE HAD A NIP RING! I just said she does not like to talk about it.
I think some bastard must have talked ( Ethel you are on my list).When I got home today she just stared at me.
As I walked by,she jumped up and rabbit kicked me in the throat. For a woman that is only 3'2",she is very nimble.As we came down on the floor, she put me in a scissor lock around the waist.
She told me to say "Uncle".
" No" I says.
The she twisted my ear and tells me to say "Uncle".
" No" I says.
Then while I was down on the floor with the wind knocked out of me and a sore ear. She bit me on the damn nose. My zit on my nose was almost gone,but now it is bleeding again.
Will I ever get well?
Till next time------Poohpa

Stanley

One of my duties with my Shrine Unit is to call and keep up with our sick members.I have talked To Stanley about three times since spring.
The first time he was not feeling well.The next time he was going in for a stint.When I called him Monday,he told me he was waiting for a heart transplant. He seems to be doing well.He is week but in good humor.He attended bingo at the Masonic Temple Friday night,but says he tires easily.He will be traveling to Salt Lake City for the surgery throgh the V.A.
Every one can benifit for prayer.Help if you can.A little knee bending never hurts.
Till next time-----Poohpa

Zit Warning

O.K. I have this major zit on the bridge of my nose.The freak'n thing is the size of Mt. Hood. In my defense ,a small blemish on the bridge of the nose, becomes very large because of my CPAP.The mask I wear rubs on any sore and goes nuts if I don't notice it.

Because I am such a studly dude,I get many questions while waiting on my customers.I think when you are so damn good look'n,as I am,you cannot hide it.

As you all know it is hard for me to control my bullshit level.

I have told people-

1. Cut in a knife fight.

2. Blew my nose to hard and a boog blew out the side.

3. Brain surgery through the top of my nose.

4.Was getting my nose pierced and the girl sneezed and missed.

5. The bitch bit me.

6. A nipple ring accident.

If Sondi reads this,I am in deep shit.She does not like people to know about the ring.State law tells me not to tell. But some times a man has to do what man has to do!

If I get the ol' stink eye when I get home I will know.

Pray for me.

Tilll next time----Poohpa

Rudeness

My almost new BFF,Joy the Internet queen,a few weeks ago posted on her blog about some one who hit her car.She had just gotten it fixed from being hit at the mall.I felt sorry for her. When a person cares and loves their car,it really hurts them.

This brings me to my latest rant.What has happened to common since?People just don't give a damn any more!

This brings me to more things that piss me off.

Turds that do not pull over until the last 20 ft, when the lane ends.

Turds that cannot park in a space straight.Park it right dumb ass,the next person has a hard time getting in or out without hitting another car.

Turds that play their radio so loud that you can feel it a block away.

Turds that do not know who has the right of way at a four way stop.

Turds that do not understand what a double white line is for.

Turds in diesel trucks that leave them running when the trucks are not occupied.(the damn things stink and it is against the law--a real state law).
Tiil next time-------Poohpa

Fort Smith #2

I was able to get the lap top to down load pic's after I bitch slapped it a couple of times.They say we went to Ft.Smith to play soccer.

Every time we go the ladies ask to to Hooters.They have a great time and the Dads enjoy it too.

Abbie in a little action.

The real reason the ladies like Ft.Smith is to play,either in the pool with Gerry or at Hooters.Soccer whats that?

Abbie and Sammi (along with Gerry and Nolan).

Tomi and Abbie getting a shoe shine,showing a little attitude.

Goofy girls.

Bother Nolan enjoyed Hooters the most.

Till next time---------Poohpa

Fort Smith Soccer

Me and damn computer are fighting.I think it is winning! I have been trying to down load pic's of our trip but the damn thing will not let me.
Is it acceptable to bitch slap a lap top? I am just about ready.I will try later, if you see a bunch of pic's later you will know I have won.
Till next time----------Poohpa

Great time of year

Shortly it will be time for our yearly Shrine Circus.

This is a time that I enjoy almost as much as Christmas.

Could this be because I am just a big kid at heart.--Duh

Last year for the first time, I was able to take off from work and work the early Friday morning performance.This free for the disadvantaged kids for the Tarrant county area.Lots of fun for kids that do not get do much of this type of stuff. Smiles every where, some on kids,mostly on Shriners. We party hard but work hard for the kids.

Pictures will come.

If you are in town Oct.9th-16th, come take in our show.

Till next time------------------Poohpa

Cats #2

Now you think I don't like cats--wrong.I don't like pets of any kind in the house.All they do is eat and crap,they don't even work.
We had a outside cat named Flash the Wonder Cat.He controlled the neighbor hood.All cats and most dogs feared him.He only thought of three things eating, fighting,and screwing.He was my hero.One day we were cutting trees in the back yard.Flash was just watching( notice he was not working).As he walked across the yard,I happened to start the saw.He jumped up and made a right turn all at the same time.He cleared the trampoline with 3 feet to spare.I almost pissed on myself.
One day I was working on my 64 Chevy(she was called the Thunder Cruiser).As I changed the plugs this paw came out from the fender and touched my hand.I jumped up and hit my head on the hood.Thought I was having a stroke.
And you wonder why I don't like cats that much,although they my great fish bait.

Just a random thought.
If we feed our babies with a little spoons,do women from China use toothpicks?
Till next time---------------Poohpa

Cats

I am a grouchy old fart,this is a given.We have had cats around our house for almost 20yrs.The cats have been gone for a few years.My wife loved the cats,I on the other hand did not.The cats ruled the house. They never had a job,never worked a day in their lives.I,on the other hand, worked 7 days a week for the last 10 yrs.My wife fed them twice a day for years.She does not even get me a glass of water when she sets the dinner table( most of the time I even cook the dinner).Some thing is wrong with this.
When the last cat (Bailey) she cried for 2wks,no shit 2wks!After working for 41 yrs and 41 yrs of marriage,I would rate 2 or 3 tears,this is also a given.
When the last one passed,I would not let her have another inside animal ,so we now have 2 outside cats. These are fed 3 times a day.This ain't right .They don't even have to do dishes. And you wounder why I am so bitchy.
Tiil next time---------------Poohpa

New TV Shows

Damn if I have to listen or watch one more TV rerun I will just go damn crazy! I love NCSI and cannot want for a new show.Me and Jethro are two of coolest and meanest dudes in the world.I have fought more bad guys and serial killers than McGarrett.Of course all the women want me,it is a curse that I have lived with for most of my life(when I was young I did not know that they wanted me).
If I watch one more Big Brother show I will go nuts.Nothing is worse than listening to almost grown people bitch.whine. and lie.They do it badly and to often.My wife loves this crap.Thats right I said crap and thats what I mean-crap-crap-crap.Back stabbing little bastards.
I need man shows.Head roll and just a little T and A. A new state law.
Just waiting for good show.
Till next time-------Poohpa

Sweetie Pies

I have taken Sarah's advice about Sweetie Pies.
The place is a restaurant in the big town of Decatur Tx.Kind of nice and a cute place.
All I can tell you about our trip is --
bug-
pants-
wife-
freak out-
no pants-
side of highway-
death treat if I blog about it-
and I thought the stink eye was bad
Till next time------------------Poohpa

Getting Older

Every man has the fear of losing his hair when he gets older. Myself I have head of studly gray
hair .I have been blessed with a great head of hair,not that I look like Big Foot or anything like that.Great genes ,I guess.My father had great hair,so did my grandad, they had less gray hair than I do.My Dad reminded me of that ever time we met.
What don't under stand why we grow it other places.I have eyebrows that grow so fast I feel like a catfish some times.I have known guy that have so much ear hair that if they used a trimmer, it had be gas powered.Some grow so hair on their backs they look like a bear.I knew a guy that could braid their nose hair.
In my mind I know all women secretly want to run their hand through my hair.This is a curse I have lived with for most of my life.
Till next time---------Poohpa

Dinner Club#2

Other things have happened on our night out.
My buddy,Richard, was walking to his car and stepped in a 20 pd. pile of cat crap.He had is new pair of Doc Martins on,you know with the 5 inch soles and 3 inch grooves.We had already left and when we returned he was using a stick to get the crap out.I just laughed,he just cussed.He had to drive to the restaurant with no shoes on,Linda would not let them in the car.
Darlene had us stop at the Krispy Kreme to go to the bathroom. As he walked across the lot, she was hit by a truck.She was fine but shaken.She forgot to go pee.
Next time I work up the nerve I will tell you about the Sweetie Pies trip.
Till next time ---------Poohpa

Dinning Out

Every Friday night we go out to eat with our friends.We have a group of eight that have gotten together for years.This has been a weekly occurrence for 25+ years.People come and people go,but the supper club goes on.
Over the years many funny things have happened.
The time that Bill threw and leaf on me in the pool and I thought a bat was sucking my brains out.
My buddy Drew tried go get out of our van without undoing the seat belt. He hung there like a rag doll, not being able to get in or out.
On my 40th birthday they gave a birthday cake that was really a water balloon,with chocolate icing on it.When I cut it,it burst,and icing was hanging from the ceiling.When I got up that morning,my car was wrapped in shrink wrap ,about 200ft. of it.When I got to work they had up notes and signs all over the store.Some not very nice. My trees were covered with toilet paper.Rude signs painted all over my car.The inside of the car was filled with balloons.
Needless to say it ,took me a year ,but I got all of them back.
The time that Bill laughed at me so hard,he shot a piece of Oreo cookie out his nose,and had to got to the hospital.He could not talk for about 3 days.
More next time-------Poohpa

My hero

Steven Slater is my hero.The just could not take that bitch'n woman anymore.She cussed him and even hit him with the bags.I wonder what else she did before the plane landed.Some times it just ain't worth it.He will lose his job,his freedom,and even maybe even his retirement.
This because a woman could not follow the rules.When did people become so rude?Why does it always have to about me? Me,me,me,me,me,me and me.Courtesy has gone to hell.
I blame this on my generation, the sixties. If you do not remember it was all about ME.If you did not do it your way,you copped out.Do don't have time for your kids--so what? Don't want to work--tuff shit.Don't want to go to school,who cares?
You ever heard the saying,"shit rolls down hill." This is what happens morals go to hell!What ever happen to the golden rule?
When you do not make your kids behave,you have parents like this woman.
Our country needs a recurrence of family values.The old ways tend to be the best ways.This should be a state law.
This coming from an Old Fart, and proud of it.
I will quit gripe'n now.
Till next time---------------------Poohpa

Just a few pics from Galveston

I wish is was my beach house.

Abbie and Nolan on the beach.

Sand time.

Fishing in the afternoon.

Trip home.

Till next time-----Poohpa

Galveston

When we went to Galveston for the weekend. We had a great time.We spent a day at the beach and also took the grandkids fishing.Nolan caught 4 fish,his little sister Abbie,caught 8 fish.As you know this really miffed Nolan His little sister out fished him.
Being the grand dad I am ,I offered Nolan a dollar to kiss a dead shrimp.I just knew he would do it,I had camera in hand, but the little fart would not do it.I saved a dollar.
The beach was good,no sea weed, but the jelly fish were bad.One came out of a large wave and got Miss Abbie.The life guard had vinegar to put on it, the sting was better after 20 minutes.The natural remedy is to pee on it,I was told to do the deed,but refused for fear of scaring them for life.
I also remembered, that a sun burn on the under side of you arms,hurt like hell. This is a state law you should never forget.
Till next time--------Poohpa

Out of town

I just thought I would let you know that we have been out of town for a few days.I do not have much to say right know, but more to come in a few days.We took a few days and drove down to Galveston, for a day of rest. Till next time------Poohpa

Outcast

This little guy is my youngest grandson (Andrew),doesn't he look sweet.

For the second time he has been expelled from church daycare.When he is put in there so Mom and Dad go to church, he just raises a little hell.He is a natural Mama's boy.

I think his picture is posted on the wall with a red circle with slash through it.I think it is a wanted poster.

His motto is look cute and raise hell.My kind of boy.

Till next time-----Poohpa

Shooters

My grandson,Nolan,just turned 14 a couple of weeks ago.He is a small boy(6ft and a size 14 shoe).He called last week and ask if I would take him shooting.His Mom and I go every once in a while.

So we went and I gave him a quick lesson on gun operation and mostly gun safety.He actually listened .I know it shocked me too.

This is his first set of shots--not bad!

My daughter has turned out be a great shot.Men,she shoots the nuts out first! Ouch!

Out of a box of shells,50,he hit the target,in the kill zone 90% of the time.We had a good time.

He keeps is target on his wall and take every one that visits the house to show off.

It took 2 days to get the grin off his face.

Till next time ----Poohpa

The Ol Stink Eye

A couple of days ago I saw a young man riding a crotch rocket.It is hard for me to remember the time when that was me on the bike.Old school before the crotch rockets were popular with the kids.We rode for about 8yrs with The Cycle Club of Fort Worth.That's right my wife was a biker bitch(we do not call her that for safety reasons).
She was always one of the shortest,but the cutest,women at any club function.She was teased and picked on because of her height,most of the time she took it in stride.I remember one time when a member from another club cornered her and was giving her a hard time.I knew he was in trouble.Before he knew it she had kicked him just above the boot.The poor son of a bitch never knew what hit him until he hit the ground in pure pain.That was the first time I ever saw her use of the stink eye.
The next time was when I called her short ass, this a bad call on my part.I got such a bad case of the ol stink eye that my blood ran cold for two days.I still remember the day, I still get chills to this day.
Till next time----Poohpa

Texting

Yesterday I saw a lady driving down the freeway in rush hour traffic texting.Even I know this is not smart.Just call me an old fart but I think texting will ruin the world.I refuse to give in,this coming from the man that would never own a cell phone or a computer. I will never become a text/tard.
Yes I said tard anyone that cannot live without it has got to be retarded.It is going to be the social down fall of the world.I swear kids cannot spell or even have a normal conversation any more.Some of my friends do not understand my refusal to change.Who gives a crap? I am what I am.
Till next time, in a text free zone----Poohpa This is a new state law!

Trip

Well just a little rant about drivers.
On our trip to Nashville we took a short trip to the Jack Daniels distillery.The drive was about 70 miles from the airport.It was a nice drive, green trees and rolling hills.The homes were just breath taking.
The roads had fairly narrow lanes(nothing like Texas roads but no place is like Texas).As I rounded an inside curve, doing about 60 mph, this butt head was taking his half of the road out of the center.I swear to God he was half way into my lane! We were only about 100ft apart when we saw each other.
I just want to tell you I did pee and crap on myself all at the same time---not. I hope he crapped his pants.
If it had not been for my cat like reflexes and the fact I did not have my head up my butt,we would be a hood ornament for a Ford F-250.
In the process Linda spilled her coke all over her shirt and had to change before the tour.I was the hero for about 3minutes,then I got the stink eye for the shirt.
Not bad for a man with a bad turd/eye injury.
Till next time---Poohpa

Nashville 2010

When in Nashville you need to go to the Ryman.We are not big on bluegrass,but we were surprised to find a Ft. Worth group there.The Quebe Sisters.Very good and a show stopper.

The head liners were Vincent and Daley.Bluegrass super stars. Very funny and the music will give you goosebumps.

Inside the Ryman (we all ways feel so young when we go to something like this)

Stage

Belle Meade Plantation

Jack Daniel's Distillery

Sondi,Jack,and Linda

Killer bag

We spent a few days in Nashville. We had a great time with our friends(Richard and Linda). We had a small incident with a killer bag.It seems to be harmless---- right? Ever since the black bottom biscuits incident,I have feared for my life.I have been getting the stink eye for days.

In the hotel she was pulling her bag down the hallway.Just as we passed the maid cart.she said"Look in this room".This was her chance,she stopped the damn bag beside the maids cart.Of course I was looking to my right.I almost took out the cart and the bag,If it had not been for my cat like and perfect reflexes I would be pushing up daises by now!

She knows I missed the bullet,but she is still smiling while giving me the ole stink eye.

Every one pray for me---till next time Poohpa

Crap shooters #2

Two of my grand kids just found my box of crap shooters.I was terrible,there was poop flying every where. I got hit about 20 times,twice in the eye.How do I go to work explain to the boss that I cannot work because of a turd/eye injury?The kids had fun, even though I had a major eye/turd injury.
We ate spaghetti and meat sauce for dinner.It was great along with the cajun style garlic bread.
Got to go ,I am getting the ole stink eye again. Till next time---Poohpa

Rat

Who was it? Who did it? Was it you Ethel?Darlene?
I know not what is going on.This morning I woke up and found a plate of black bottom biscuits staring at me from across the bedroom!I fear waking up in the morning tied to the bed with a burnt biscuit stuck in my mouth! Maybe I will be lucky and that will be the only place I find one stuck.
I might have to chew my arm off to get loose.One armed bloggers have a hard time, not to mention cutting meat for a living.
Pray for me ! will be sick today just thinking about it.I fear sleep.

4th of July

Last night we had some of the kids and grandkids over for chicken fajitas and a good time.We went to the local city fireworks and had a great time for all.
Now for the real reason I am writing. My wife and I just got through eating grilled ribeyes and baked taters Real man food!Along the the meal we also have garlic toast. God knows my wife is a good cook,but she can burn a batch of bread faster than a cat can lick his ass. Black bottom biscuits are her specialty.
She can sit beside the oven and still mess the bread up(I think is really a commie plot). Lord knows I love her but ,what the hell! It ain't brain surgery.
I have done my share of extra well done burgers,but I was distracted (that's my story and I am sticking to it).
As with my brother-in-law,I think I am safe, because she does not read my blog.She think it is silly and a waste of my time. As long as no one(Darlene and Ethel) does not rat me out ,it will be safe to sleep tonight.
Pray for me ,that she will not read this-----Poohpa

Reading Material

I was just tagged by my blog friend from S. Korea , Our Jen Eric Life, to write a what I read in the potty.The reality of life is most people read in the crapper.Me,it is mostly the news paper.
In my old fart age I seem to go to sleep after about 2 pages.I do how ever listen to audio books.I prefer to listen to bang bang shoot em ups. Anything by Dan Brown,Robert B. Parker,Jonathan King.Or Robert Crais.
Some times I just ponder what I will write on this blog(great thing like crap shooters or redneck family).
What about you?

Crap shooters

My sister ,Debbie,and my other sisters have my humor-rude ,crude,silly,childish,and even profane. At the cook out for sister from Utah,she gave me a box of crap shooters.Just imagine what it could be.

A whole box of foam turds..Yep that's right turds-brown bombs-poop-dookie. They even a rubber band attached so you can shoot them across the room.

Flying dookie.What else can a real man expect from his sister? Lord knows that I am so proud of her. The grand daughter spent the night shooting dookie all over the den.

Life is good-----Till next time --Poohpa

Cook out

Rug rats every are where

Tammy-Poohpa-Vickie-Russ-Debbie-Becki-Mom

This is my kids and some of my neices and their husbands.

We had a cook out for my sister (Becki) and her boyfriend (Riki).
We had a small turnout,about 31 showed up. I fixed 30 burgers,30+ dogs,and about 5lb. of smoked sausage.No one died from the food. All of the kids had fun and played for hours out side, even though it was 95f,a few tears but no blood. Every one brought chips,water,and buns.

We had a great time and the fellow ship was great.

Life is good when you have a good family,mine is the best,we love them all.

Becki

My little sister,Becki, lives in southern Utah.She is coming to town to visit for a couple of days.She also is bringing her new boyfriend to meet the family.His name is Riki,he lived in Israel for most of his life.( I think he is a spy).Not only is he an Israeli spy but he is a Raelain(google this you may be surprised).
He has a hard row to hoe.Just refer to my post about my redneck family. The poor guy does not know what he is getting into.He will meet about 40+ people and they scare the crap out of me. They are part of my family and I still get lost.I carry a large Big Chief tablet and a big yellow pencil with me because I cannot keep up .To many people to many changes.The last time we got together I went through 3 pencils and 2 tablets.I think I will change to a large purple crayon,this will give me better visibility and maybe my hand will not go to sleep.
We will cook out Sunday and I will cook 40 burgers and 30 dogs along with smoked sausage.
Poohpa since you are a meat cutter why not steaks? you ask. The reason is simple--I am a cheap bastard! nuff said--Pray for me that I don't burn every thing or strangle some ones kid!
Till next time---Poohpa

N and G policy

Through my life I have come up with a few things that have served me well, but this is close to being a life lesson.
I do not eat nutz or guts. This covers almost anything I consider gross or unclean.I modify this to fit he situation as needed.I will not eat liver,scrapple,souse,head cheese,haggis,menudo,sushi,calf fries,turkey fries,tongue,oysters,scallops,blood sausage,blood pudding,sweet breads,tripe(honey comb or regular),k-bobs(real men do not eat this)and most of all--spotted dick!--till next time----Poohpa

State Law

When my kids were growing up,I found the greatest parenting tool in the world.State Law. When they were young and I would tell them to do something and they ask why.You just say it is a state law.Low and behold they did it with out question. Who knew, not me.
. They got to high school age and it still worked. My wife and I became band partents,it worked on them too! Even told the band teachers and they did not question us for years.
It is pure power in the hands of parents.
Try it on your kids,I do not have it copy righted yet.Till next time--Poohpa

I got nothing

My last post I did just a little bitch'n about my customers.Sorry about that,sometimes it just comes out.Most of the shoppers in my store are very nice.
We have our crazies too.We had one that pulled a pull toy all over the north east part of the county.Sadly he was killed by a drunk driver.In a neighbor hood with million dollar homes ,he was our homeless person.
We have a few celebrities Pat Sumerall--The Jonas Bros.--and a guy that was the father on Teen Wolf.(He was also on F Troop if you are old enough to remember).The late Bryon Nelson and his wife.
As always the women all love me.(It is a curse I have lived with most of my life).The men are all jealous.
I just can't help it, it is a fact of life--Till next time--Poohpa

Status Change

When working in the meat dept. we talk,wait on,or service from 75 to 100 people per day. This for every employee back there.Most people know us but we know very few(we try and make every customer fell like they are our best friend).

If we remember you it is for a reason,HOT women and problem customers.I have had my share of these type people.I have found out over the years that engineers are the worst.They think they are right even when they don't know swat.

There are different categories for these people.

Turds

Butt holes

Jack ass

Ass wipe

Chicken shit (this is save for the every special)

We have only one that has reached jack ass status. The day before yesterday,my fellow worker(Larry), changed his status straight to Chicken shit.I have no idea what he did to Larry, but he was instantly elevated,pass ass wipe all the way to Chicken shit.Way to go Jack ass,you pissed off one of the nicest guys I have ever known.

Till next time---Poohpa

What is your status?

Life

It has been a while since I posted,but I have been busy and sick.
I need to tell you about my red car rule.
I do not drive red cars nor do I like anyone who does.Maybe I should say real men do not drive red cars.(The exception is my brother-in-law He is a real man and would whip my ass.Also my oldest son ,who is one cool dude and a manly man--I do not fear him as much.)
People who have red cars are usually homos-cross dressers or transvestites.
If on my 2nd job, I have to drive a red car it becomes rojo-not red.This is Poohpa state law.
Some cars are excepted --Red vetts-Dodge Chargers.This is another of my state laws.
If I do have to drive one I bitch and whine like a little little kid.
This a major rule I live by.(I still wonder about my brother-in-law.Don't worry about me I don't think he can read). till next time--Poohpa

Grand kids

This past weekend we spent some time with our youngest son and his kids.They are little shits as all grand kids are.I personally have tried my best to help make them that way(as I have all mt grand kids).It is a grandfathers job and duty to help piss their parents off(I am very good at this).
We were at the neighbors house the other day to see his new grand baby,he was also trying out his sprinkler system.I told Kasey to run through the water."No Poohpa I will get in trouble".
"No Kasey your Dad won't mind" I said .Finally I prevailed and he complained,of course him and his sister got soaked.Then Dad came out.Kasey said" Poohpa said it was alright"
Doing the proper thing I blamed it on Robert the neighbor and preacher.
Robert says he has to take lessons from me on being a grand dad
"Life is good"---Poohpa ( the teacher)

HOLIDAY TIME IN THE MEAT DEPT

Why is when you are working on a holiday,some dumb shit comes and says"Poohpa why are you working?" Dahhh--dumb shit because you are shopping!
Hopefully you will see a trend here. I enjoy my work,but sometimes the customers can be so stupid.Holiday time in the grocery store can be alot of work.People forget that when they are lucky enough to be at home with their families,some one has to work.(restaurants,grocery stores,movies,gas stations,video stores,and amusement parks among many).
Some people just don't know how lucky they are.
On a good steak ad I can cut 5 or 6 hundred ribeyes, the same on strips and t-bones.Along with everything else that has to be done. This every day on the four day weekend.
If you come in drunk and rude you may get the same back!
I rant and bitch to my friends and they just laugh at me and that is what I want.
Just remember--others work so you can play---be nice.

Mower

I don't want to hear it--the damn mower just quit on me ,all I DID WAS HIT ONE STUMP

This just pisses me off--one small stump.I have mowed over this sonofabitch of five years.Did the damn thing grow? I just fixed the damn thing--17.50 down the drain.
I had to be at work at 4am this morning,then this happens.I am in morning for my old friend--not.
Then I had to spend more money at wally world.The new one works very well, but I still am going to bitch and moan for at least a month! BE WARNED -I am bitchy and cheap,a bad combination.

Life Lessons

• Always wash your hands after making cinnamon toothpicks and before going to the bathroom.


• Never jump off the roof with a towel as a parachute.


• Never tuck your shirt into your under ware after drinking 4 large cups of coffee.


• Don't piss off the neighbors dog by spitting in his face.


• Don't change the toilet paper after using Deep Heat.


• Always use a safety jack when working under your car.


• Always get your wife flowers when she is in the hospital, even when she says not to.


• Always make sure you have at least a quarter tank of gas when on a trip.


• Don't tell your boss he is an ass hole and a drunk.


• The most important thing a man can learn is to say "Yes Dear" and "What ever you say Dear"


• Know this--you are always wrong ,even when you are right,when your wife is concerned.


• Never think you know more about the right color than her.


• Never shoot your son in law, in the back, with a soft plastic pellet gun. Your grand daughter will go to school and tell the teacher that Poohpa shot her Dad in the back.( I shot myself and it did not hurt much,but he whined like a little girl.) I now hide my soft pellet gun from him.


• Never touch the coil wire on your car while it is still running.( this will make you piss in your pants).

Out House

When I was a kid, my Uncle A.J. lived with us. He was a drunk, but a happy drunk.He spent as much time in jail as he did with us.

My Dad was a manger of a local marina at this time . I spent many of my younger days at the lake.

The marina had no restrooms (1960's).As a kid Me, my brother, and A.J. were assigned the duty of digging the holes for the new out houses. The deed was done in just a few days.As you all know what goes in an out house(it aint pretty and does not smell well). Over the years it began to fill.
On occasion a small animal would fall in and we would shoot it to put it out of it's misery.One day a man came in and said someone had dropped a dog in the out house. We went and checked and large like a collie was swimming in the waste.
A.J. said that we could try and rope and pull it out. We found a rope and A.J. stood over the hole and roped the dog. As he was pulling the dog out my Dad backed out of the house and blocked the door with a board! We all know what a dog does when he is wet.(shake-shake-shake).You would hear A.J. cuss my Dad and beat on the door for 10 minutes,before my Dad let him out.
A.J. ran straight for the lake cussing my Dad all the way.
This was great fun for everyone except A.J.
Like is good unless you are trapped in a room with a shitty dog----Poohpa

Fish Story

Going to the Ranger game with my son remined me of a story I told him years ago.
We had gone fishing with my father in law when my son was about 8 or 9 years old. We had not had any luck and we were on our way back home.
He ask me if I ever had pet when I was his age.I told him I had caught a catfish and took him home with me. I told him that I kept him in a rain barrel and would feed him every day.After a while he come to the surface and greet me. Soon I got to were I could pet him and play with him,he was amazed that fish would let me play with him.Soon I would take him out of the water.After that I said he lived under the front porch out of the water and I played with him every day. I even named him Marvel. Then I said nothing else.
About 5 minutes later he ask "What ever happen to Marvel?"
I told that it had come a big rain and Marvel drowned.
The poor boy had been had and he knew it . He laughed so hard he had an asthma attack.
I love messing with kids. Lord help me I am bad.--Poohpa

Ranger Game

I went with my oldest son and his two girls to see the Texas Rangers win today.

I did not care if they won or lost. The only reason I went was just to be with the girls.If they win thats all right,but ice cream sundies in a ranger cup is way more important to me. My goal in life is to make them think Iam crazy and that I will buy them crap to eat.Life is good and we had a great day----Poohpa

Mothers Day 2010

Amie and Sarah

Group discussion

Peyton and Hailey

Hill roll

Nene and Abbie

Peyton

Kasey

Andrew and his Dad

For Mothers Day our kids took us on a picnic to the park.We had a great time and it was cool and damp. The kids fed the ducks and played hard. Great day and lots of fun.