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Sunday, March 27, 2011

Mom and Dad

Mom and Dad loved each other,but they drove each other crazy.The more they were together,the more they grew to hate each other. They divorced and then they were happy.Each remarried and were happy for many years after. My Mom lived next door to my sister,in Utah.Later when my Dad visited my sister, he became friends with her and Jim. My Mom and Jim would even go out with Dad and Dean. Years before they divorced,Dad lost his job with Armour Packing.He tried to find a job for months. Dad had tried to get on with the US Border Patrol.He took all his test and passed with flying colors.He never heard from them again.Years later my Mom asked him if he remembered the job with the Border Patrol.Years later she told him that he had gotten a job and was to report to Laredo Tx., on the Texas-Mexico border.Mom told him she tore the papers up and never told him. You never know how life could be, if things were different. If things were different I may have had a daughter named Juanitia. Till next time-------------------Poohpa

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Gas X

Men being men,we talk about sports,sex,women,politics,and farts.
It is a state law that men will brag and lie about their fats.Decompress,poots,toots and butt perfume.
Me personally,I have been able to fart in colors and I have my own signature fragrance.I just call it Burnt Peanut Butter.
Years ago we were in the meat market talking about farts.I told the guys about the time I was in the shower and farted.It blew the door open and sprung the hinge.Almost choked to death before I could get out.
About this time the meat wrapper came in.
She told about the time her husband,Grover, came home drunk.He fell into bed and passed out.
Now they had a dog,one of those yappin little bastards that shake all the time-like he has an ice cube up his butt.Now this little bastard would sleep between Grovers legs.Grover farted, the dog came running out,yappin , and crying.Stopped on Grovers chest and puked his guts up.

I have never made a dog thow up.I could only be so proud.
Till next time--------------Poohpa

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Me women

It is a curse,I cannot help it! It just happens,not my fault.
Women just find me irresistible.
Maybe it is the hair.Maybe my great looks.Or it maybe the animal magnetism.
This a curse I have had all my life.
Where ever I go sexy women are all over me.
I went to a tailgate party for the Super Bowl volunteers.
As per normal,these Cowboy Cheerleaders wanted to go home with me.But being a married man I had to break their hearts and tell them I was a one woman man.
They cried,but knew I was right.I let them down easy.All was well with the world.
I live in my own world,in my own mind.I love my world even if it is make believe.
Till next time--------------Poohpa

Monday, March 7, 2011

Old Joke

A man walks into a cafe and orders a cup of coffee.
He sits there drinking the coffee and after a while calls the waitress over to his table.
He says "This coffee taste like mud!"
She says "It was ground this morning"

Old joke for an old man.
Lord I have a million of them.

Till next time-------Poohpa