Clock

Friday, December 30, 2011

New Year

After surgery, the weight loss has been slower,only five pounds this week.
I have been on a semi-soft diet.I drink milk for breakfast and small meals for the rest.

My hope is that I lose 50 more by June.

I was supposed to be on a protein shake diet,but I can't stand to drink that crap anymore.

The way I am eating I don't see how I am over eating.

Maybe the New Year will bring more loss.Next week I go back cutting meat at the store.
Maybe working your kester off will help.

Keep me in mind for the New Year.

I hope yours is better than last and not as good as the next.

Till next time-Poohpa

Thursday, December 22, 2011

New Week

One week since surgery (gastric sleeve) and I have lost another 10 lbs.This is a total of 37 since I started on the liquid diet.
Tomorrow I go and get my staples removed.
I have started back on my protein shakes for the next two weeks.
I still have very little pain,more like a discomfort.I am not supposed to lift over 10lbs. But some times it just happens.
I have two more weeks left before I go back to work at the meat dept.
I hope the next week goes as well as the last.
My hunger is not there,so it is hard to remember I need a shake.I want to eat but not because of hunger,but maybe for the taste.

Thank for listening-----------------Poohpa

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Update

Well I am back from the hospital.The Dr. removed the side of my stomach,while he was in there,he fixed a hernia.
I was down 27 lbs.after 2 weeks on the diet.I am afraid to weigh, because I feel swollen.
I have six new scares on my tummy.(in later years I will tell my grand kids that I was in a knife fight)
This is the third day since the surgery.I am doing well.Little pain,more like a discomfort.

I have always been the biggest man in the crowd,maybe this will change.
One week on water,then two weeks of protein shakes,after that two weeks of soft foods.
This means no ham or turkey for me this year.I guess a few more years of living is worth it.

When on a liquid ;
Never pass a chance to go pee-
If get urge to poop don't wait-
And never ever trust a fart-
Don't ask me how I know this!

Till next time----------Poohpa

Friday, December 9, 2011

Second Week

Next Thursday I will have my surgery done.Hopefully I will be home Friday afternoon.
I am weak from lack of food.I need something to chew.
I am tired of drinking my meals.
After the surgery,I will have three more weeks of the liquid diet.Then soft and liquefied food,for three weeks.
I am wasting away,18 lbs. down from last week.
I am so weak,my farts are dry and don't even make a sound.Luckilly they will still stop a clock.

Till next time---------------Poohpa
.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Forth Day

Well I ain't dead yet!!!!
No fingers left and I am running out of farts.
Four day into the diet and I have only cheated 375 times, If you don't count the Boston cream pie that disappeared last night.
Ten pounds in four days,not bad.

Sondi has not choked me to death in my sleep.
The guys at work say I am not anymore bitchy had normal.The ass wipes talk behind my back and point fingers at me.(they do know I am very good with a knife and will use it.)

Till next time-----------------------Poohpa     Help Me

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Day One

Shit---------------I want food.

It was not too bad.

Chewed two fingers off.

Drank four protein shakes and drank three bottles of water.

Farted and tried to bite my own fart.

Need food---send cookies fast.

Till next time -------------------Poohpa

Sunday, November 27, 2011

New Start

 Dec 1st. I will start a new chapter.On the 1st I am starting a liquid diet.
 This is in prep of the gastric sleeve,I will  have on Dec.15.
 I have been working on this since May,taking classes and seminars.

 The good part of this, I hope to lose 8o or 9o lbs by Thanksgiving next year.

 The bad part is that I will not get to eat for 8 to 10 weeks.The first two will be a cake walk.
After the surgery,that will be something different all together.
Mostly no food for the first week.Protein shakes for the next two.Blended for the next two.The soft foods for will come next.
 This could be a hard time for me (and my wife).
 This will be made easier by bitch'n alot to all of you.

  Till Next time----------------------Poohpa

Monday, November 21, 2011

ThanksGiving

Nannie
 Thanksgiving makes me think of my MIL.We lost her a few years ago,but she is with us during the season.
 She had a tradition of having the grand kids over to help make dressing for the turkey.(In Texas we eat dressing not stuffing).My oldest son took over this job before she left us.This last week, my kids got together,and make the dressing for Thanksgiving and Christmas.We tried to get my grand kids to help,but most were playing to hard to be bothered .
 This time of year always make all of us think even more of her.
 She was born in 19 something,As Josephine Gotcher in Farmsville Tx.
 Married James McClary.
 Then Paul Skidmore.
 But she was known as Nannie,by anyone ,who was anyone.
 We had some people who came to her funeral that did not know her name was Jo.
 She was sweet.
 She was stern.
 She loved her grandkids more than life it's self,and would protect them to the end.
 She was what the word family means! Look it up.
 She loved the holidays.She decorated for weeks.She wrapped for weeks.She cooked for just as long.
 I miss her.
  Till next time--------------------Poohpa
P.S. I will not be way for so long.Starting on Dec.1,I will start a new chapter in my life and let you all help me through it.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

I am still here

Have had alot going on lately.
I have been thinking about how we have so much,now compared to when we were young.

Kids do not understand that cokes (sodas) were a treat not a staple.You can drink water.

Two or three kids to a room will not kill or warp your life.

Outside was to play in,not to look at.

The summer of '63 was a bad time in my life.
That year we were so poor,we had no money to spend on Halloween costumes.
Mom just gave me a potato."Put this in your pocket and go as a dictator".

Till next time--Poohpa

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Pig Fish

My city,North Richland Hills Tx., has a city wide plan to beautify any thing they can.The put art work on lots of things.Their are plenty junction boxes( phone and electric). Any of these on major streets have been decorated.Some are the high school mascots.This is way cool.
The one near my house is a pig fish.Know I do not know what the f--- a pig fish is,but I cannot get this image out of my mind.
The thing is way cool and weird at the same time.If I get a change I will post a pic of it.
It haunts me ,maybe I am becoming a pig fish .I just don't know.

Heip me.Poohpa or pig fish.Poohpa or pig fish.
A change maybe coming.
Pig Fish out.   I meant --Till next time--------------Poohpa

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Sad Day

Friday,on my part time job,I was sent to the town of Grandbury Tx.We had to deliver 5 cars to a Chevy dealer.It is about 60 miles from DFW airport from which we left from..3o miles to the other side of Fort Worth and then 30 miles south.
As I got near the town of Cresson,I noticed the people lining the side of the road.When I crossed into Hunt County,there were 2 sheriff cars on the side of the road,A mile further,2 more.As I got near Grandbury,the more cars,motorcycles,fire trucks,and even the dog catcher,were stopped and waiting.Flags and signs every where.
They were bringing a Fallen Soldier home to rest.The town turned out to pay respect for their own.
Very humbling.
As I pulled into the dealership,they were all at the street and waiting.This is a time for deep respect.
Three of the five drivers,got out of their cars with a big smile and asked what the parade was for,after all Labor Day was last week.
I was soooo embarrassed,I almost died.
How can people go through life with their heads up their ass? How can you not see what is happening?
As we left,the procession came through.Police,sheriff,and Patriot Guards,in the lead.Family cars and friends for about a mile.
Very humbling.

This old man cried.

Then today,he did once more.

Tee

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Cool

Here I sit and it is 70f outside, at 10:00 at night.Last week it was 102f at this time.The heat has finally broke.We are able to get outside again. We had over 60 day over 100f this year. We have 5 to 10 most years.
West of here we have major fires.
Near Austin we have fires.
Near Houston we have fires.
In east Texas we have fires.
I am just happy I did not start a major fire with my farts.

Till next time---------------Poohpa

May all your hugs be warm.
May all your farts be dry.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Work

As you all know,I work a part time job.
Note to self--never share one of your signature,burnt peanut butter farts,when you are not driving the van.
Mike,the lead driver,all most passed out.We had to give him oxygen.He swears his nose hairs are gone.
Till next time-------------Poohpa

Friday, August 19, 2011

Galveston Tx

Tuesday I went to Galveston---------
This is something I have wanted and also feared.
Most go to play on the beach and fish,I went to the Shriner's Hospital.----This is one of our burns units,I think you understand why I feared this.

I am not ashamed to say"I am a wuss when it comes to hurt kids." I slept very little the night before.
I got a call a week before from my new BFF -Bill.
Bill is the lead driver on this trip,me,the co-pilot.
We left the Shrine center at 5:15 and was on the road.Half way there,we stopped in Fairfield Tx. and ate breakfast at Sam's.In Galveston by 11:oo.
The hospital is at the end of the island.We stopped in the front and unloaded our passenger.
Went to the  7th floor to the cafeteria.While there,one of the Divan from Ft Worth came by and greeted us.( The Divan is what Shriner's call their leaders).
Later, as we waited in the lobby,I watched the kids play.I saw kids with no ears,no arms,and no noses.Some came by and waved or spoke.At a young age these kids know that the men in the Fez are the ones that help.As I sat there a young girl smiled and spoke.As she spoke I noticed her arms were hanging straight down.Her Mom sewed fake hands to her sleeves,this to make her feel better.
The kid we took back was burned all over.Face ,hands,and arms.This is what I dreamed about for two days.He had no nose.No hands.

I call them kids, but they are all Men and Women.Anyone that have gone through this much are grown ups in my opinion.

The Shriner's live and die for the kids.This is what I do and what I live for.                                   

If you can,always give to the Shrine.               Poohpa

P.S. Today is my son's birthday.Maybe this is why it bothered me so much.We are all blessed by God and we are all so lucky.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Still Hot

I am still afraid it's never gone to end.39 days straight of 100 plus temps.
Made it through jury duty.
The steering wheel on the car burns your hands.When you get in,it must be 120 or more.
Even the grasshoppers are hunting shade.We are watering 4 days a week and the yard is just barely holding on.
This maybe a good thing.I only have one more bush left. I am on my last pair of cargo shorts left.The rest have burn holes in the butt.When your farts light,it hurts like hell,it is also hurts like hell.At least they don't
stink like sh----.
Till next time---------Poohpa

Friday, July 29, 2011

Jury Duty

I spent my time as a jury panel member.
The did not pick me.I gadly serve when needed.This was an open and shut case.The young man pled quilty and the jury was asked to judge the punishment.

Just like Perry Mason.

Shit it was hot--downtown--104f---seemed like I was next door to Hell.

I think most people are born good,but sometimes they walk through random pockets of dumb ass.This must last for a lfe time.

Till next time------Poohpa

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Heat

Shit it is hot outside! 102f  in the shade today and it has been warmer earlier in the week. 105f on my patio in the shade.
Next week I have jury duty--shit it's hot.
I don't mind jury duty.It is all of our duty to serve.In 1980 I served on a jury for 3 weeks.Shit it was the hottest summer in history.Untill this year.I just hope I will not have to serve that long.
It is so hot outside,that when I was doing yard work,I farted.It caught on fire and almost burned a tree down.(Quess I will not bend over after eating tacos,while outside).I am OK ,just a burned butt and a ruined pair of cargo shorts.

Did I say--Shit it is hot?

Till next time------Poohpa

Friday, July 15, 2011

Antz

We had visitors from out of state this last weekend.
My sister Becki from Utah and her boy friend Riki---the spaceman.
Her daughter from Vegas and her family.
We did have a good time and also got togather with 40 of our long lost Aunts,Uncles,and cousins.These from my Mom's (we lost her in 1980) side of the family.We had a great dinner at El Chico's mexican resterant.They fixed a nice fajita bar,plenty to eat for everyone.A good time for all.It has benn atlest 20 yrs since we have seen most of them.
On Sunday we had a cook out at my house.Burgers ,dogs,and grill boneless pork chops.My neice spent 2hrs.making brownies from scratch.They were very good even if my son ,Keith had a problem getting them out of the oven.

As for the ants,they were there to greet Riki (this is a spaceman thing I quess).All I know is when he got to the house ,they all parted and you could her them chant--Riki-Riki.
When he left so did the ants---must be a space thing.

Till next time -------Poohpa

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Help Me

We have been invated by ants and Realiens.
Visitors are here from Utah and Navada.I do not know if they brought the ants,but I did see the movie "Them", when was a  kid.I do believe that this is all connected.
I will repoert back later if they do not suck our brains out while we sleep.

Till next time-----------Poohpa

Friday, June 24, 2011

Blank

I got nothing!!!!
My mind has gone to shit---no brains left.
Not like I have alshimers { I can't spell either} or anything.Damn spell check does not always help.
Gone to shit-----
I am having a hard time try'n to find anything to write about.
All my fart stories are gone.
My family will not talk to me for fear I will rat them out on the blog.
The guys at work run from me.
I have run out of lies.
I have not got anything to talk bad about my friends.
Nothing to rant about at work,even with the holidays coming soon.Even nothing to tell about Jack Ass,the customer from hell.
I don't even have anything to tell about me.
What the hell is going on?    Shit for brains,that what.
Till next time -----------Poohpa ( I hope)

Friday, June 17, 2011

Why Come?

I have been lazy about blogging--Why ,I been lazy!

A few things I wounder about.

How does a thermal bottle know when to keep it hot or cold?

If the great horned toad is so great and so horny---Why are they almost extinct ?

When did the emergency brake on a car, become a parking brake?

Why when you gotta go pee--is there always someone in the rest room?

Why do I think of all this useless bullshit?  My brain is full of it and it keeps leaking out.

Till next time-----Poohpa

Monday, June 6, 2011

Things that make me happy

A few things that make me happy.
  • Grand kids.
  • My wife.
  • My kids.
  • When children giggle instead of crying.
  • Good food.
  • Good food with good friends
  • A good joke ( clean or dirty).
  • Telling a good lie when your friends believe the bull shit.
  • Being right---this don't happen often.
  • Listening to a good book on CD while driving to work.
  • The guys I work with,both jobs.
  • All my women in my life.---This is a curse,I can't help it.
  • A job well done.
  • A good fart.
Till next time-------------Poohpa

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Pills

You all know I work in a meat market.
I see stuff that most people do not want to see.
Nothing real gross,we do not kill and gut,we just cut the meat.This not as dirty as it used to be.
Sanitation laws are alot tougher than they were years ago.

I have become immune to alot.After 42 yrs I can eat beside damn near anything.I can eat a ham sandwich while sitting right beside the meat block.

I also believe that we have gone over board with this sanitation thing.Dirty is dirty,but you can over do anything.Our bodies need a little bacteria to work right.

I believe in the 30 sec  rule ( this was a 5 second rule when I was 20.The older I get the longer the time frame.)

This morning I was doing my stuff before work. Hair -teeth-pills.
When started my meds I dropped one, no big deal.This does happen.This morning I could not find it.I looked for about 5 minutes,thin a found it.It was in the holder for the toliet bowl brush.

Now I am cheap and tuff, But I aint stupid! I am just on pill short for the month.

Till next time -----------------Poohpa

Monday, May 23, 2011

Cruise 2011

 Grandson Kasey when he found out he could get ice cream all day and night long.
Me and Me Winch
Our cuise ship.
Sea Turtle Farm.
Beach pad.
Just a few pics for our vacation.
Till next time----------------------------------------Poohpa

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Cruise

  • A few things I tried to find out while on the cruise---
  • I want to see if you sit on the toilet and flushed---would it suck your guts out through your butt.I tried to get my 5yr old grandson to try it for a buck,but he ran and cried the first time he heard the turbo flush.He did not sit on the pot while at sea.He got real pissy before we got to the first port.
  • Elvis was not working the buffet line.
  • Could anyone in the Karaoke bar sing-------------Hell no.
  • Why were only Indonesians working house keeping and the food lines-Italians were the ships sailors-and the Americans were the Cruise directors and entrainment staff.
  • WHY in Gods name with a ship full of Texans were there no biscuits and gravy? There was Damn sure always tacos.
  • Where the drunks funny---Hell yes.
  • Could you really eat for 24 hrs. with out stopping-------Yes.--Pizza and ice cream 24 hrs a day.Life is good.
  • I always wanted to piss off the fantail...Warning if you do use a mask and snorkle.Don't ask how I know this.                                                                                                                                       Until next time------------------------------Poohpa

Vacation

OK ,  we are back for our cruise.We had a great time.
Lot's of pics and bullshit to tell you about,but it will be later.The ship was late getting in.

Till next time----------------Poohpa

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Meat Case

Today I farted so bad,behind the meat case, two people passed out.I blamed on bad chicken in the case.

State Law says never take the credit--always pass it on.

Till next time-------------------Poohpa

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Mothers Day

This Mothers Day I will get Sondi the same thing as last year  -- not a damn thing.Just like last year!!
Not really---we are going to Galveston for a seven day cruise.

I have been thinking alot about Fathers Day.

The rage is an E reader--the Kindle or Barns and Nobel now carry their version  the Nook.

I understand that Half Priced Books now carry their version of the Nook.They call it the Nookie.

Ladies I know all your husbands would love a little Nookie for Fathers Day.

I will be waiting for mine.

Till next time-----Poohpa

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Life Lesson

Never wash your custom embroidered Shriner shirt( the one that is pure white with 2000 points of embroidery on the back alone),with your new black pants. I now have a gray one.Soon to order a new one. Shit!!!!!! Till next time -Poohpa

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Shriner Joke

A man went to the Dentist.After the exam,the Dentist says" You need three root canals," He says"I can't have a root canal,it will hurt to much.I can,t handle the pain." The Dentist says" We can use Novocaine," He says" It makes me sick,I think I am allergic to it." "We can use gas" He says. " No-no I am to scared I will just die".The man said. The Dentist left and returned with two blue pills and a glass of water."Take this" he said. "What are the pills for?" "Viagra".The Dentist said. "What the hell is that for?" The Dentist says"When I start drilling,with all that pain,Your going to need something to hold on to." Till next time------Poohpa

Monday, April 11, 2011

Twin Brother

Here I am in all my glory.

For years I have told all may friends that I have a twin.His name is Russ.

People are amazed that we do not look alike.I am the better looking one,in the top pic.


We have different mothers and he is 5yrs older. But to me,we are twins at heart.

I am till better looking!


Till next time-----------Poohpa

Summer Time

As you know--I am a meat cutter-not a butcher.A butcher has no finesse when it comes to craftsmanship.Most people think all you do is slice and dice.There is an art to this and it is a dying craft.Anyone can butcher a cut of meat,but not everyone can do it right.If done ,wrong it is tuff and chewy. This time of year ,we remerchandise our counter.More cook out items ( middle meats--t-bone-ribeye-strips) and less roast and stew meats. Me being as bitchy as I am,some things just aren't right. No real man will eat a kabob or satays.This is women food.( sorry ladies).No real man will eat or even buy a stuffed mushroom. Kabobs are not hard to make but they take alot of time,for the little money in return. Beef and chicken satay are just lean strips of meat woven on to a skewer. I think satay is French for pain in the ass. Steaks and pork chops are real man food. GRRRRRRRRRRRRR . Till next time----------------Poohpa

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Doctors

I hate going to see the sonabitches.

  • There are lots of things I hate about them.

  • They do not listen to what you say--only what they want to hear.

  • They charge to much for what little service you actually get.It makes since to me that if you charge $50 for the insurance company,you should charge me the same if I pay cash.

  • How come when I return a call, to them, you can never talk to a real person?

  • Sick snotty little bastards in the same waiting room as people that just hurt.

  • Cold fingers.

  • The sound of KY jelly---splaaaat and then the slap of a rubber glove.

  • Guys--When you bend over does he have one or two hands on your back?

  • When you get double scoped--Does he use one or two hoses.Hopfully if he uses one,maybe he cleans it off first.

  • Why does he never send flowers?

  • Have you ever had a nurse or Doctor say thank you when you leave?

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Mom and Dad

Mom and Dad loved each other,but they drove each other crazy.The more they were together,the more they grew to hate each other. They divorced and then they were happy.Each remarried and were happy for many years after. My Mom lived next door to my sister,in Utah.Later when my Dad visited my sister, he became friends with her and Jim. My Mom and Jim would even go out with Dad and Dean. Years before they divorced,Dad lost his job with Armour Packing.He tried to find a job for months. Dad had tried to get on with the US Border Patrol.He took all his test and passed with flying colors.He never heard from them again.Years later my Mom asked him if he remembered the job with the Border Patrol.Years later she told him that he had gotten a job and was to report to Laredo Tx., on the Texas-Mexico border.Mom told him she tore the papers up and never told him. You never know how life could be, if things were different. If things were different I may have had a daughter named Juanitia. Till next time-------------------Poohpa

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Gas X

Men being men,we talk about sports,sex,women,politics,and farts.
It is a state law that men will brag and lie about their fats.Decompress,poots,toots and butt perfume.
Me personally,I have been able to fart in colors and I have my own signature fragrance.I just call it Burnt Peanut Butter.
Years ago we were in the meat market talking about farts.I told the guys about the time I was in the shower and farted.It blew the door open and sprung the hinge.Almost choked to death before I could get out.
About this time the meat wrapper came in.
She told about the time her husband,Grover, came home drunk.He fell into bed and passed out.
Now they had a dog,one of those yappin little bastards that shake all the time-like he has an ice cube up his butt.Now this little bastard would sleep between Grovers legs.Grover farted, the dog came running out,yappin , and crying.Stopped on Grovers chest and puked his guts up.

I have never made a dog thow up.I could only be so proud.
Till next time--------------Poohpa

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Me women

It is a curse,I cannot help it! It just happens,not my fault.
Women just find me irresistible.
Maybe it is the hair.Maybe my great looks.Or it maybe the animal magnetism.
This a curse I have had all my life.
Where ever I go sexy women are all over me.
I went to a tailgate party for the Super Bowl volunteers.
As per normal,these Cowboy Cheerleaders wanted to go home with me.But being a married man I had to break their hearts and tell them I was a one woman man.
They cried,but knew I was right.I let them down easy.All was well with the world.
I live in my own world,in my own mind.I love my world even if it is make believe.
Till next time--------------Poohpa

Monday, March 7, 2011

Old Joke

A man walks into a cafe and orders a cup of coffee.
He sits there drinking the coffee and after a while calls the waitress over to his table.
He says "This coffee taste like mud!"
She says "It was ground this morning"

Old joke for an old man.
Lord I have a million of them.

Till next time-------Poohpa

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Revenge ( may need to read my last posy first)

The bastards-
Don
Eddie
Kenny-pygmy bastard ring leader and cake maker.
I have to admit a water balloon taped down and iced like a cake is pretty ingenious.
I had to do something to each one on their birthdays.

The first was Don.
On his day we showed up with some of the band kids.They loved to deface private property.
Before I could get out of my car,the band kids were hard at work.You could hear the toilet paper hitting the ground.--thump-thump-thump.It sounded like mortars hitting the ground.They very large oak trees and they were covered top to bottom.Pay backs are sweet.

The second was Eddie.
His was a little different.After Don he thought he was going to get the same thing.Wrong!
I took the spinal cords from pork loins.This things are very nasty.Like super snot.I put these under his door handles,steering wheel,and wiper blades.It took him days to get it off.

Then there was Kenny-pygmy bastard ring leader.
He went out of town on his birthday and put his pickup in the garage so I could not get to it.Wrong.His daughter,Niki,pulled it out for me.I filled the back with 300 lbs of cow crap.Yep 300lbs of stinking cow shit.I also put little cocktail umbrellas in the crap.Little signs that said"this dungs for you".
He was not a happy pygmy.Life is good.

Till next time-----Poohpa

Friday, February 25, 2011

Birthday Past

I said earlier that I had just turned 60.(Damn that's old)

I was thinking about birthdays past.

Toys long gone,old friends not seen for years.



The most memorable is when I turned 40.Good friends and good times are hard to forget.

We were involved with our kids high school .I was on the band booster board.

The group of people we met were very much fun to be with,they had my type of humor

(rude and crude).We got together every week to eat.



The morning of my birthday I got ready to go to work.Went to get my coffee and looked out the kitchen window.Now--if I am late to work it doesn't just bother me,but if some other than me does--well let's just say it makes me pissy.
I looked out the kitchen window and what do I see?
My car filled with balloons and shrink wrapped with miles of film.Windows painted with rude comments.Not only that,but my trees filled with toilet paper hanging like snakes from the top of them.I had been teeped by my buds.Bastards-sonsabitches-ass wipes.(that was the nice things I said).
The first thing I did was call them all.5:30 am is the perfect time for threatening phone calls.
I will get them back.
It took 45 min. to clean my car up so I can go to work.Then when I get to work(mad as hell) they had gone to my store and posted signs in the back room and ladies room.
Later that night,we went to Kenny's house to meet to go out for dinner.Kenny says "We have a birthday cake for you to cut before we go eat".
The cake was a water balloon iced with chocolate frosting.Have you ever been pissed on by a cake?
Bastards, and people wonder why I hate people.
Till next time------ Poohpa
Next time---the pay back

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Getting Old

Today I just got old.
Today is my birthday.
40 wasn't bad.
50 was OK.
60 almost sucks.
Can't see.
Can't pee.
Can't bend.
Can't mend as well as I used to.

I cannot bitch--I have lived a good life.I never got rich, but have had a good life.You do not need to have a lot of money to be rich in love and life.
It is a blessing that a lot of people never had.

41 years with my wife.
3 kids.
8 grand kids.
Life is good!!!!!!!!!!!!

Till next time--------------Poohpa

Friday, February 11, 2011

Mistake

The two next post are reversed please read the second one first.

Fred

Christmas,Fred was still with me.Sondi ask me to get a box out of the closet so she would wrap a shirt for her Mom.
So Fred and I got up and went to the closet to get a box off of the top shelf.Fred was bitch'n but I went anyway.
As I was going through the stash of boxes,a patty box fell.( I talked about the patty box in an earlier post.They were small and folded flat.)
As it fell, in slow motion,I saw it slowly spin and rotate as it came down.It looked like sword in an old ninja movie.
It met Fred at about 40 miles per hour.When it hit I almost passed out.Nearly pissed.And cussed all at the same time.
Fred was not happy, neither was I .
I still hurt every time I think of it.

Till next time-----Poohpa

I will not say that again

The passport issue has been resolved!





When we were at the Post Office applying for our passports I thought of an old story that happened to me years ago----





One day at work, Bud, tells me he had a flat tire on the way home and had to change it on the side of the road.


So I says--


I never have had a flat on the road.I have gotten up but had one in the drive way.


You know,the next morning bap-bap-bap---flat tire.





The next week my MIL came down with a fever blister on her top lip.


So I says---


You know I have never had a fever blister before.


The next morning--a big ole blister.This was not your run of the mill blister.The bastard took on a life of it's own.It would talk to complete strangers--look at me--look at me.It weighed so much I bent over to tie my shoe and almost fell over.I called it Fred.





About a week later ,Bud, says when he was a kid he broke his arm playing football.


I did not say a damn word.---Poohpa

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Weather

I know my friend up north will laugh about us down south,but we don't have the equipment to handle this.Yesterday 60f today 19f with ice and snow.This normal for this time of year in Ft.Worth Tx.--the Stock Show is here.If we ever have bad weather it is always during the Stock Show.Not to mention we have the Super Bowl in town in in 6 days.This is a true state law.
Till next time---------------Poohpa

Monday, January 31, 2011

She ain't easy.

My woman is just not easy.Nothing ,no way ,no how.
When you are 3ft 2in,ain't nothing fits.( she is just a hair taller than that).Pants to long .Shirt sleeves that are always to long.
Did you ever try and find a pair of size 5 shoe or boots?
Did you ever try and find a size 5 ring?
Why does she always bend over to tie her shoe or pick something when she is walking down a hallway with people behind her?
Why does she always have to go back to the house to get a pillow or to get the camera?
Why is it her phone is always dead or at the house?
Why can she remember crap I did 20yrs ago when I don't know what she is talking about?


This all leading back to the reason I am take my life in my own hands for posting this.
Remember my post about Austin?How we had to have her name changed on her birth certificate.Remember I talked about the $5 an hour millonaire?All we had to do was have a misspelled first name corrected.We got the new one today .Her name was corrected from Sandra to Sandra.
That's right, they changed it to the same dam'n name. Sondi is still Sandra.This after a trip to Austin so we would get it right.

Sondi is still Sandra and she still ain'easy.
Lord knows I love her.

Till next time------Poohpa

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Super Bowl Experience

Hell!!! Here I am in all of my glory.Ready to tell everyone where to go and what to do.I worked my first volunteer shift at the Experience for the Super Bowl.Lots of fun for kids of all ages.I worked the Pass,Punt, and Kick booth.
This is a display of all of the past Super Bowl rings.They were well guarded.
This is a picture of the sign over my event.I have four more nights to work,pray I keep my wits and don't kick some kids butt for being a little turd(just kidding they were all nice)
Till next time----------------Poohpa

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Austin

This maybe a long post,so please let me explain.
My wife's name is Sondra,not Sandra.Most of her life people have called her Sandra at lest once.
We have planned to take a cruise this spring.There fore we have to get passports.The main thing you need is a birth certificate.I went to get them from the court house.Mine was right,hers was wrong.You guessed it,Sandra was on hers.Back in 1492 when she was born,Sondra was not a common name.I know that who ever transcribed the record thought it was wrong and changed the spelling to Sandra.That ass wipe as caused me a lot of grief.
After a lot of calls to Austin,we decided to travel to Austin to take care of the problem.If we sent it by mail it could take up to 3 months to get it back.If we went to Austin we could have it back in 2 weeks.Then we would apply for her passport.This may take up to 2 months to get back.
To fix it we had to send to Nevada so her brother could sign and notarise a statement to that effect.This done,we flew to Austin to take care of business.
When we get there some $5 an hour millionaire tells us we need more proof.It just so happens I also took our marriage certificate.We just met another ass wipe.
Sondi pops out the ole stinkeye.I know what is going to happen.A few miss spoken words can cause a lot of headache.I was able to defuse the situation and every thing was taken care of.
Sandra is now Sondra for good.
When down in Austin we looked for a donut shop.For an hour,we hunted.We found everything but donuts.That's another thing wrong with this hippie loving ,long haired,bunch of ass wipe liberals.They must hate donut lovers.That's unamerican, if you ask me.

Till next time----------Poohpa

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Carl

Carl is my new cars salesman.Last week I bought my sweet heart a new Sorento.The car is very nice and looks good.Carl was very nice and very good as a car salesman.
The only problem is that his name is not Carl,but Dale is his real name.
I do not remember names very well.I see and talk to hundreds of people a day.I try and make them all think I know who they are are.Many people know me by name at the store,but I know very few of them by their names.The art of true bullshit fits me well.
Carl made a joke out of his new name.I don't think he cares as long as I bought a car.He even introduced himself to Sondi as Carl then as Dale.One cool dude,just what it takes to make a sale.
Til Next time--------------Poohpa and Carl

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Stink

I noticed one day I was stinking.Not just your regular smell.This was some major stink.Not just a small smell,it smelled like a dead cat.
Working in the meat dept.I have run across some bad smells(nothing is as bad as a bad chicken).
This made me think maybe dogs and cats were following me.
Was I having a bad chili reaction--no.
Did I have a bad case of swap ass--no.
Had I stepped in dog shit--no.
After showering twice a day---
It was the damn soap.A reaction to Irish Spring.
After a shower with this crap,within an hour I smelled like a dead fish dipped in cat crap.I later found out that my brother has the same problem with Irish Spring.
I have now a large supply of Dial.Old soap for a old man.
Now smelling good again.
Till next time---------------Poohpa