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Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Crap shooters

My sister ,Debbie,and my other sisters have my humor-rude ,crude,silly,childish,and even profane. At the cook out for sister from Utah,she gave me a box of crap shooters.Just imagine what it could be.
A whole box of foam turds..Yep that's right turds-brown bombs-poop-dookie. They even a rubber band attached so you can shoot them across the room.


Flying dookie.What else can a real man expect from his sister? Lord knows that I am so proud of her. The grand daughter spent the night shooting dookie all over the den.
Life is good-----Till next time --Poohpa



Monday, June 28, 2010

Cook out

Rug rats every are where
Tammy-Poohpa-Vickie-Russ-Debbie-Becki-Mom



This is my kids and some of my neices and their husbands.

We had a cook out for my sister (Becki) and her boyfriend (Riki).
We had a small turnout,about 31 showed up. I fixed 30 burgers,30+ dogs,and about 5lb. of smoked sausage.No one died from the food. All of the kids had fun and played for hours out side, even though it was 95f,a few tears but no blood. Every one brought chips,water,and buns.
We had a great time and the fellow ship was great.
Life is good when you have a good family,mine is the best,we love them all.


Thursday, June 24, 2010

Becki

My little sister,Becki, lives in southern Utah.She is coming to town to visit for a couple of days.She also is bringing her new boyfriend to meet the family.His name is Riki,he lived in Israel for most of his life.( I think he is a spy).Not only is he an Israeli spy but he is a Raelain(google this you may be surprised).
He has a hard row to hoe.Just refer to my post about my redneck family. The poor guy does not know what he is getting into.He will meet about 40+ people and they scare the crap out of me. They are part of my family and I still get lost.I carry a large Big Chief tablet and a big yellow pencil with me because I cannot keep up .To many people to many changes.The last time we got together I went through 3 pencils and 2 tablets.I think I will change to a large purple crayon,this will give me better visibility and maybe my hand will not go to sleep.
We will cook out Sunday and I will cook 40 burgers and 30 dogs along with smoked sausage.
Poohpa since you are a meat cutter why not steaks? you ask. The reason is simple--I am a cheap bastard! nuff said--Pray for me that I don't burn every thing or strangle some ones kid!
Till next time---Poohpa

Monday, June 21, 2010

N and G policy

Through my life I have come up with a few things that have served me well, but this is close to being a life lesson.
I do not eat nutz or guts. This covers almost anything I consider gross or unclean.I modify this to fit he situation as needed.I will not eat liver,scrapple,souse,head cheese,haggis,menudo,sushi,calf fries,turkey fries,tongue,oysters,scallops,blood sausage,blood pudding,sweet breads,tripe(honey comb or regular),k-bobs(real men do not eat this)and most of all--spotted dick!--till next time----Poohpa

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

State Law

When my kids were growing up,I found the greatest parenting tool in the world.State Law. When they were young and I would tell them to do something and they ask why.You just say it is a state law.Low and behold they did it with out question. Who knew, not me.
. They got to high school age and it still worked. My wife and I became band partents,it worked on them too! Even told the band teachers and they did not question us for years.
It is pure power in the hands of parents.
Try it on your kids,I do not have it copy righted yet.Till next time--Poohpa

I got nothing

My last post I did just a little bitch'n about my customers.Sorry about that,sometimes it just comes out.Most of the shoppers in my store are very nice.
We have our crazies too.We had one that pulled a pull toy all over the north east part of the county.Sadly he was killed by a drunk driver.In a neighbor hood with million dollar homes ,he was our homeless person.
We have a few celebrities Pat Sumerall--The Jonas Bros.--and a guy that was the father on Teen Wolf.(He was also on F Troop if you are old enough to remember).The late Bryon Nelson and his wife.
As always the women all love me.(It is a curse I have lived with most of my life).The men are all jealous.
I just can't help it, it is a fact of life--Till next time--Poohpa

Monday, June 14, 2010

Status Change

When working in the meat dept. we talk,wait on,or service from 75 to 100 people per day. This for every employee back there.Most people know us but we know very few(we try and make every customer fell like they are our best friend).

If we remember you it is for a reason,HOT women and problem customers.I have had my share of these type people.I have found out over the years that engineers are the worst.They think they are right even when they don't know swat.

There are different categories for these people.

Turds

Butt holes

Jack ass

Ass wipe

Chicken shit (this is save for the every special)

We have only one that has reached jack ass status. The day before yesterday,my fellow worker(Larry), changed his status straight to Chicken shit.I have no idea what he did to Larry, but he was instantly elevated,pass ass wipe all the way to Chicken shit.Way to go Jack ass,you pissed off one of the nicest guys I have ever known.

Till next time---Poohpa

What is your status?

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Life

It has been a while since I posted,but I have been busy and sick.
I need to tell you about my red car rule.
I do not drive red cars nor do I like anyone who does.Maybe I should say real men do not drive red cars.(The exception is my brother-in-law He is a real man and would whip my ass.Also my oldest son ,who is one cool dude and a manly man--I do not fear him as much.)
People who have red cars are usually homos-cross dressers or transvestites.
If on my 2nd job, I have to drive a red car it becomes rojo-not red.This is Poohpa state law.
Some cars are excepted --Red vetts-Dodge Chargers.This is another of my state laws.
If I do have to drive one I bitch and whine like a little little kid.
This a major rule I live by.(I still wonder about my brother-in-law.Don't worry about me I don't think he can read). till next time--Poohpa

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Grand kids

This past weekend we spent some time with our youngest son and his kids.They are little shits as all grand kids are.I personally have tried my best to help make them that way(as I have all mt grand kids).It is a grandfathers job and duty to help piss their parents off(I am very good at this).
We were at the neighbors house the other day to see his new grand baby,he was also trying out his sprinkler system.I told Kasey to run through the water."No Poohpa I will get in trouble".
"No Kasey your Dad won't mind" I said .Finally I prevailed and he complained,of course him and his sister got soaked.Then Dad came out.Kasey said" Poohpa said it was alright"
Doing the proper thing I blamed it on Robert the neighbor and preacher.
Robert says he has to take lessons from me on being a grand dad
"Life is good"---Poohpa ( the teacher)

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

HOLIDAY TIME IN THE MEAT DEPT

Why is when you are working on a holiday,some dumb shit comes and says"Poohpa why are you working?" Dahhh--dumb shit because you are shopping!
Hopefully you will see a trend here. I enjoy my work,but sometimes the customers can be so stupid.Holiday time in the grocery store can be alot of work.People forget that when they are lucky enough to be at home with their families,some one has to work.(restaurants,grocery stores,movies,gas stations,video stores,and amusement parks among many).
Some people just don't know how lucky they are.
On a good steak ad I can cut 5 or 6 hundred ribeyes, the same on strips and t-bones.Along with everything else that has to be done. This every day on the four day weekend.
If you come in drunk and rude you may get the same back!
I rant and bitch to my friends and they just laugh at me and that is what I want.
Just remember--others work so you can play---be nice.