Christmas,Fred was still with me.Sondi ask me to get a box out of the closet so she would wrap a shirt for her Mom.
So Fred and I got up and went to the closet to get a box off of the top shelf.Fred was bitch'n but I went anyway.
As I was going through the stash of boxes,a patty box fell.( I talked about the patty box in an earlier post.They were small and folded flat.)
As it fell, in slow motion,I saw it slowly spin and rotate as it came down.It looked like sword in an old ninja movie.
It met Fred at about 40 miles per hour.When it hit I almost passed out.Nearly pissed.And cussed all at the same time.
Fred was not happy, neither was I .
I still hurt every time I think of it.
Till next time-----Poohpa
Friday, February 11, 2011
I will not say that again
The passport issue has been resolved!
When we were at the Post Office applying for our passports I thought of an old story that happened to me years ago----
One day at work, Bud, tells me he had a flat tire on the way home and had to change it on the side of the road.
So I says--
I never have had a flat on the road.I have gotten up but had one in the drive way.
You know,the next morning bap-bap-bap---flat tire.
The next week my MIL came down with a fever blister on her top lip.
So I says---
You know I have never had a fever blister before.
The next morning--a big ole blister.This was not your run of the mill blister.The bastard took on a life of it's own.It would talk to complete strangers--look at me--look at me.It weighed so much I bent over to tie my shoe and almost fell over.I called it Fred.
About a week later ,Bud, says when he was a kid he broke his arm playing football.
I did not say a damn word.---Poohpa
When we were at the Post Office applying for our passports I thought of an old story that happened to me years ago----
One day at work, Bud, tells me he had a flat tire on the way home and had to change it on the side of the road.
So I says--
I never have had a flat on the road.I have gotten up but had one in the drive way.
You know,the next morning bap-bap-bap---flat tire.
The next week my MIL came down with a fever blister on her top lip.
So I says---
You know I have never had a fever blister before.
The next morning--a big ole blister.This was not your run of the mill blister.The bastard took on a life of it's own.It would talk to complete strangers--look at me--look at me.It weighed so much I bent over to tie my shoe and almost fell over.I called it Fred.
About a week later ,Bud, says when he was a kid he broke his arm playing football.
I did not say a damn word.---Poohpa
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Weather
I know my friend up north will laugh about us down south,but we don't have the equipment to handle this.Yesterday 60f today 19f with ice and snow.This normal for this time of year in Ft.Worth Tx.--the Stock Show is here.If we ever have bad weather it is always during the Stock Show.Not to mention we have the Super Bowl in town in in 6 days.This is a true state law.
Till next time---------------Poohpa
Till next time---------------Poohpa
Monday, January 31, 2011
She ain't easy.
My woman is just not easy.Nothing ,no way ,no how.
When you are 3ft 2in,ain't nothing fits.( she is just a hair taller than that).Pants to long .Shirt sleeves that are always to long.
Did you ever try and find a pair of size 5 shoe or boots?
Did you ever try and find a size 5 ring?
Why does she always bend over to tie her shoe or pick something when she is walking down a hallway with people behind her?
Why does she always have to go back to the house to get a pillow or to get the camera?
Why is it her phone is always dead or at the house?
Why can she remember crap I did 20yrs ago when I don't know what she is talking about?
This all leading back to the reason I am take my life in my own hands for posting this.
Remember my post about Austin?How we had to have her name changed on her birth certificate.Remember I talked about the $5 an hour millonaire?All we had to do was have a misspelled first name corrected.We got the new one today .Her name was corrected from Sandra to Sandra.
That's right, they changed it to the same dam'n name. Sondi is still Sandra.This after a trip to Austin so we would get it right.
Sondi is still Sandra and she still ain'easy.
Lord knows I love her.
Till next time------Poohpa
When you are 3ft 2in,ain't nothing fits.( she is just a hair taller than that).Pants to long .Shirt sleeves that are always to long.
Did you ever try and find a pair of size 5 shoe or boots?
Did you ever try and find a size 5 ring?
Why does she always bend over to tie her shoe or pick something when she is walking down a hallway with people behind her?
Why does she always have to go back to the house to get a pillow or to get the camera?
Why is it her phone is always dead or at the house?
Why can she remember crap I did 20yrs ago when I don't know what she is talking about?
This all leading back to the reason I am take my life in my own hands for posting this.
Remember my post about Austin?How we had to have her name changed on her birth certificate.Remember I talked about the $5 an hour millonaire?All we had to do was have a misspelled first name corrected.We got the new one today .Her name was corrected from Sandra to Sandra.
That's right, they changed it to the same dam'n name. Sondi is still Sandra.This after a trip to Austin so we would get it right.
Sondi is still Sandra and she still ain'easy.
Lord knows I love her.
Till next time------Poohpa
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Super Bowl Experience
Hell!!! Here I am in all of my glory.Ready to tell everyone where to go and what to do.I worked my first volunteer shift at the Experience for the Super Bowl.Lots of fun for kids of all ages.I worked the Pass,Punt, and Kick booth.
This is a display of all of the past Super Bowl rings.They were well guarded.
This is a picture of the sign over my event.I have four more nights to work,pray I keep my wits and don't kick some kids butt for being a little turd(just kidding they were all nice)Till next time----------------Poohpa
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Austin
This maybe a long post,so please let me explain.
My wife's name is Sondra,not Sandra.Most of her life people have called her Sandra at lest once.
We have planned to take a cruise this spring.There fore we have to get passports.The main thing you need is a birth certificate.I went to get them from the court house.Mine was right,hers was wrong.You guessed it,Sandra was on hers.Back in 1492 when she was born,Sondra was not a common name.I know that who ever transcribed the record thought it was wrong and changed the spelling to Sandra.That ass wipe as caused me a lot of grief.
After a lot of calls to Austin,we decided to travel to Austin to take care of the problem.If we sent it by mail it could take up to 3 months to get it back.If we went to Austin we could have it back in 2 weeks.Then we would apply for her passport.This may take up to 2 months to get back.
To fix it we had to send to Nevada so her brother could sign and notarise a statement to that effect.This done,we flew to Austin to take care of business.
When we get there some $5 an hour millionaire tells us we need more proof.It just so happens I also took our marriage certificate.We just met another ass wipe.
Sondi pops out the ole stinkeye.I know what is going to happen.A few miss spoken words can cause a lot of headache.I was able to defuse the situation and every thing was taken care of.
Sandra is now Sondra for good.
When down in Austin we looked for a donut shop.For an hour,we hunted.We found everything but donuts.That's another thing wrong with this hippie loving ,long haired,bunch of ass wipe liberals.They must hate donut lovers.That's unamerican, if you ask me.
Till next time----------Poohpa
My wife's name is Sondra,not Sandra.Most of her life people have called her Sandra at lest once.
We have planned to take a cruise this spring.There fore we have to get passports.The main thing you need is a birth certificate.I went to get them from the court house.Mine was right,hers was wrong.You guessed it,Sandra was on hers.Back in 1492 when she was born,Sondra was not a common name.I know that who ever transcribed the record thought it was wrong and changed the spelling to Sandra.That ass wipe as caused me a lot of grief.
After a lot of calls to Austin,we decided to travel to Austin to take care of the problem.If we sent it by mail it could take up to 3 months to get it back.If we went to Austin we could have it back in 2 weeks.Then we would apply for her passport.This may take up to 2 months to get back.
To fix it we had to send to Nevada so her brother could sign and notarise a statement to that effect.This done,we flew to Austin to take care of business.
When we get there some $5 an hour millionaire tells us we need more proof.It just so happens I also took our marriage certificate.We just met another ass wipe.
Sondi pops out the ole stinkeye.I know what is going to happen.A few miss spoken words can cause a lot of headache.I was able to defuse the situation and every thing was taken care of.
Sandra is now Sondra for good.
When down in Austin we looked for a donut shop.For an hour,we hunted.We found everything but donuts.That's another thing wrong with this hippie loving ,long haired,bunch of ass wipe liberals.They must hate donut lovers.That's unamerican, if you ask me.
Till next time----------Poohpa
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Carl
Carl is my new cars salesman.Last week I bought my sweet heart a new Sorento.The car is very nice and looks good.Carl was very nice and very good as a car salesman.
The only problem is that his name is not Carl,but Dale is his real name.
I do not remember names very well.I see and talk to hundreds of people a day.I try and make them all think I know who they are are.Many people know me by name at the store,but I know very few of them by their names.The art of true bullshit fits me well.
Carl made a joke out of his new name.I don't think he cares as long as I bought a car.He even introduced himself to Sondi as Carl then as Dale.One cool dude,just what it takes to make a sale.
Til Next time--------------Poohpa and Carl
The only problem is that his name is not Carl,but Dale is his real name.
I do not remember names very well.I see and talk to hundreds of people a day.I try and make them all think I know who they are are.Many people know me by name at the store,but I know very few of them by their names.The art of true bullshit fits me well.
Carl made a joke out of his new name.I don't think he cares as long as I bought a car.He even introduced himself to Sondi as Carl then as Dale.One cool dude,just what it takes to make a sale.
Til Next time--------------Poohpa and Carl
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