Men being men,we talk about sports,sex,women,politics,and farts.
It is a state law that men will brag and lie about their fats.Decompress,poots,toots and butt perfume.
Me personally,I have been able to fart in colors and I have my own signature fragrance.I just call it Burnt Peanut Butter.
Years ago we were in the meat market talking about farts.I told the guys about the time I was in the shower and farted.It blew the door open and sprung the hinge.Almost choked to death before I could get out.
About this time the meat wrapper came in.
She told about the time her husband,Grover, came home drunk.He fell into bed and passed out.
Now they had a dog,one of those yappin little bastards that shake all the time-like he has an ice cube up his butt.Now this little bastard would sleep between Grovers legs.Grover farted, the dog came running out,yappin , and crying.Stopped on Grovers chest and puked his guts up.
I have never made a dog thow up.I could only be so proud.
Till next time--------------Poohpa
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Me women
It is a curse,I cannot help it! It just happens,not my fault.
Women just find me irresistible.
Maybe it is the hair.Maybe my great looks.Or it maybe the animal magnetism.
This a curse I have had all my life.
Where ever I go sexy women are all over me.
I went to a tailgate party for the Super Bowl volunteers.
As per normal,these Cowboy Cheerleaders wanted to go home with me.But being a married man I had to break their hearts and tell them I was a one woman man.
They cried,but knew I was right.I let them down easy.All was well with the world.
I live in my own world,in my own mind.I love my world even if it is make believe.
Till next time--------------Poohpa
Women just find me irresistible.
Maybe it is the hair.Maybe my great looks.Or it maybe the animal magnetism.
This a curse I have had all my life.
Where ever I go sexy women are all over me.
I went to a tailgate party for the Super Bowl volunteers.
As per normal,these Cowboy Cheerleaders wanted to go home with me.But being a married man I had to break their hearts and tell them I was a one woman man.
They cried,but knew I was right.I let them down easy.All was well with the world.
I live in my own world,in my own mind.I love my world even if it is make believe.
Till next time--------------Poohpa
Monday, March 7, 2011
Old Joke
A man walks into a cafe and orders a cup of coffee.
He sits there drinking the coffee and after a while calls the waitress over to his table.
He says "This coffee taste like mud!"
She says "It was ground this morning"
Old joke for an old man.
Lord I have a million of them.
Till next time-------Poohpa
He sits there drinking the coffee and after a while calls the waitress over to his table.
He says "This coffee taste like mud!"
She says "It was ground this morning"
Old joke for an old man.
Lord I have a million of them.
Till next time-------Poohpa
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Revenge ( may need to read my last posy first)
The bastards-
Don
Eddie
Kenny-pygmy bastard ring leader and cake maker.
I have to admit a water balloon taped down and iced like a cake is pretty ingenious.
I had to do something to each one on their birthdays.
The first was Don.
On his day we showed up with some of the band kids.They loved to deface private property.
Before I could get out of my car,the band kids were hard at work.You could hear the toilet paper hitting the ground.--thump-thump-thump.It sounded like mortars hitting the ground.They very large oak trees and they were covered top to bottom.Pay backs are sweet.
The second was Eddie.
His was a little different.After Don he thought he was going to get the same thing.Wrong!
I took the spinal cords from pork loins.This things are very nasty.Like super snot.I put these under his door handles,steering wheel,and wiper blades.It took him days to get it off.
Then there was Kenny-pygmy bastard ring leader.
He went out of town on his birthday and put his pickup in the garage so I could not get to it.Wrong.His daughter,Niki,pulled it out for me.I filled the back with 300 lbs of cow crap.Yep 300lbs of stinking cow shit.I also put little cocktail umbrellas in the crap.Little signs that said"this dungs for you".
He was not a happy pygmy.Life is good.
Till next time-----Poohpa
Don
Eddie
Kenny-pygmy bastard ring leader and cake maker.
I have to admit a water balloon taped down and iced like a cake is pretty ingenious.
I had to do something to each one on their birthdays.
The first was Don.
On his day we showed up with some of the band kids.They loved to deface private property.
Before I could get out of my car,the band kids were hard at work.You could hear the toilet paper hitting the ground.--thump-thump-thump.It sounded like mortars hitting the ground.They very large oak trees and they were covered top to bottom.Pay backs are sweet.
The second was Eddie.
His was a little different.After Don he thought he was going to get the same thing.Wrong!
I took the spinal cords from pork loins.This things are very nasty.Like super snot.I put these under his door handles,steering wheel,and wiper blades.It took him days to get it off.
Then there was Kenny-pygmy bastard ring leader.
He went out of town on his birthday and put his pickup in the garage so I could not get to it.Wrong.His daughter,Niki,pulled it out for me.I filled the back with 300 lbs of cow crap.Yep 300lbs of stinking cow shit.I also put little cocktail umbrellas in the crap.Little signs that said"this dungs for you".
He was not a happy pygmy.Life is good.
Till next time-----Poohpa
Friday, February 25, 2011
Birthday Past
I said earlier that I had just turned 60.(Damn that's old)
I was thinking about birthdays past.
Toys long gone,old friends not seen for years.
The most memorable is when I turned 40.Good friends and good times are hard to forget.
We were involved with our kids high school .I was on the band booster board.
The group of people we met were very much fun to be with,they had my type of humor
(rude and crude).We got together every week to eat.
The morning of my birthday I got ready to go to work.Went to get my coffee and looked out the kitchen window.Now--if I am late to work it doesn't just bother me,but if some other than me does--well let's just say it makes me pissy.
I looked out the kitchen window and what do I see?
My car filled with balloons and shrink wrapped with miles of film.Windows painted with rude comments.Not only that,but my trees filled with toilet paper hanging like snakes from the top of them.I had been teeped by my buds.Bastards-sonsabitches-ass wipes.(that was the nice things I said).
The first thing I did was call them all.5:30 am is the perfect time for threatening phone calls.
I will get them back.
It took 45 min. to clean my car up so I can go to work.Then when I get to work(mad as hell) they had gone to my store and posted signs in the back room and ladies room.
Later that night,we went to Kenny's house to meet to go out for dinner.Kenny says "We have a birthday cake for you to cut before we go eat".
The cake was a water balloon iced with chocolate frosting.Have you ever been pissed on by a cake?
Bastards, and people wonder why I hate people.
Till next time------ Poohpa
Next time---the pay back
I was thinking about birthdays past.
Toys long gone,old friends not seen for years.
The most memorable is when I turned 40.Good friends and good times are hard to forget.
We were involved with our kids high school .I was on the band booster board.
The group of people we met were very much fun to be with,they had my type of humor
(rude and crude).We got together every week to eat.
The morning of my birthday I got ready to go to work.Went to get my coffee and looked out the kitchen window.Now--if I am late to work it doesn't just bother me,but if some other than me does--well let's just say it makes me pissy.
I looked out the kitchen window and what do I see?
My car filled with balloons and shrink wrapped with miles of film.Windows painted with rude comments.Not only that,but my trees filled with toilet paper hanging like snakes from the top of them.I had been teeped by my buds.Bastards-sonsabitches-ass wipes.(that was the nice things I said).
The first thing I did was call them all.5:30 am is the perfect time for threatening phone calls.
I will get them back.
It took 45 min. to clean my car up so I can go to work.Then when I get to work(mad as hell) they had gone to my store and posted signs in the back room and ladies room.
Later that night,we went to Kenny's house to meet to go out for dinner.Kenny says "We have a birthday cake for you to cut before we go eat".
The cake was a water balloon iced with chocolate frosting.Have you ever been pissed on by a cake?
Bastards, and people wonder why I hate people.
Till next time------ Poohpa
Next time---the pay back
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Getting Old
Today I just got old.
Today is my birthday.
40 wasn't bad.
50 was OK.
60 almost sucks.
Can't see.
Can't pee.
Can't bend.
Can't mend as well as I used to.
I cannot bitch--I have lived a good life.I never got rich, but have had a good life.You do not need to have a lot of money to be rich in love and life.
It is a blessing that a lot of people never had.
41 years with my wife.
3 kids.
8 grand kids.
Life is good!!!!!!!!!!!!
Till next time--------------Poohpa
Today is my birthday.
40 wasn't bad.
50 was OK.
60 almost sucks.
Can't see.
Can't pee.
Can't bend.
Can't mend as well as I used to.
I cannot bitch--I have lived a good life.I never got rich, but have had a good life.You do not need to have a lot of money to be rich in love and life.
It is a blessing that a lot of people never had.
41 years with my wife.
3 kids.
8 grand kids.
Life is good!!!!!!!!!!!!
Till next time--------------Poohpa
Friday, February 11, 2011
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